It’s complicated.

Day 3.

Maybe life has been reasonably safe for you in 2018, and that’s a fantastic thing, but could 2019 be an opportunity or time for a little danger? Christmas is gone, so if you’re making a list of what’s on your mind of what you want to achieve next year, you don’t need to check it twice. What is on the list for next year though, safe things or dangerous things? Get fit, don’t eat so much, lose weight, be in touch with people more? All of those things are great, but they’re safe, aren’t they? That’s okay, but isn’t the dawn of a new year a chance to stretch yourself and do some things that you didn’t think you could do, that you didn’t think was a possibility?

Everyone has a different impression on what constitutes taking risks. A bungee or parachute jump, travelling somewhere that you’ve never been before, moving house, perhaps starting something new with someone. Sure, the world is a dangerous place to live in at times, but isn’t part of enjoying it, experiencing something you never expected that you would?

It can be difficult though, because when you make any decision, the best thing you can do is obviously the right thing and probably the worst thing you can do is nothing at all. What if you don’t know which is which, whether to say yes or no to something? Maybe you seek advice from your friends, it’s not a bad idea. All of us are different though about what we perceive to be the right or wrong thing to do. Trust yourself?

Is the wrong thing at the right moment okay? It might not go as you planned, but it doesn’t mean that it was a bad idea or the wrong choice to make. Everything’s not going to go perfectly all of the time. Everybody has said or done the wrong thing and regretted it later, but at the time, you’re in the moment so you can’t help it. As you get older, you become more guarded about some things that you want to say yes to and you definitely get used to learn the things you want to say no to. Maybe the first thing that comes into your mind if you have to make a choice is the wrong thing. If you find yourself afraid or scared, does that means you’ve chosen poorly? Perhaps nothing’s dangerous if you know what you’re doing.

You still make a choice if you have to though, don’t you?

We used to message each other every day but then, all of a sudden, those messages stopped coming. There are no words that can be articulated to explain why, but clearly something changed. Something changed again and then she sends a new message years later. Suddenly, a decision is difficult. Stop and think about the words to reply with. Don’t reply at all? What’s going to happen? Could it be a thing? It’s dangerous to try and find out but a leap of faith is needed. Say yes and then worry about the consequences of it all going wrong later? Say no and regret not saying yes? It’s got the potential to be a new thing but is it dangerous for something to scare you that much? Tough to know, but tougher not to know? Your emotions have a way of playing with your head.

If it happens, will affection, appreciation and attention be enough? Maybe the biggest lesson is to not stop doing the things you did to get the person you want once you have them.

A dangerous choice needs to be made. Good or bad things will happen, fuck it, a reply is sent.

Am I out of my head, am I out of my mind? No one has to get it, just you and me. Nothing’s that bad if it feels good.

@TheSamMcLeod
#YouMeMusicLifeResolutions

2 thoughts on “It’s complicated.

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