Late night, red wine and you.

Now and again we get let down or disappointed by the people that we trust the most. It sucks balls, no one likes getting their heart hurt, but if we’re all honest with ourselves, each of us can all do the same to other people, none of us are perfect. Maybe everyone of us betrays or hurts someone in our lives at some point.

When you’ve been fucked over in a past relationship, It can be difficult to let people in, old or new, but you need to eventually, right? Alone time is great but there will be moments when you want to surround yourself with friends, they’ll reset your sense of wellbeing, won’t they? Maybe just spending time with one friend, it’s always cool to hang out with people you care about. Perhaps it’s someone that enters your life who ends up becoming more than just a friend, the start of anything new can be exciting. If you can’t get someone out of your head, it probably means that they’re supposed to be there. You might meet that someone in a variety of different ways, a bar, a club, a restaurant, through friends, online, the opportunities are almost endless. The problem is though, that sometimes, you can trust your trust but occasionally you spectacularly misjudge things. It’s the old saying, if something looks too good to be true, then it probably is.

One night a whole lot of trouble arrives and sometimes it’s difficult not to be curious, especially after a glass of vino. Or three.

Late night, glazed eyes, we all lose our minds.

She’s incredibly pretty, someone is punching way above their weight, why would she even be in touch? It’s ridiculous that she’d even glance more than once but it’s okay to be intrigued by someone new, especially if you’re still a tiny bit vulnerable about everything that’s gone before. Is it a joke, a trick? Maybe we’re never tricked; we just trick ourselves into believing in something or someone. What’s the worst that could happen?

Things progress. We like a lot of the same things but don’t agree on others. Sports teams, music choices, television shows, some good, some bad. Who wants to be with someone who likes all of the similar stuff that they do, sounds boring, doesn’t it? She’s different, a little bit of feistiness can never be a bad thing, playful arguments are fun.

Things progress some more, and she drops the twelfth letter of the alphabet one night. That word always makes you stop and think, doesn’t it? It’s easy to believe that we’re all complicated because we’re all tangled up in our own lives and relationships, but we all have choices. We’re all wired to want answers from who we choose to spend time with. Fix what you can if you want to, stay or go, be honest or lie, say the word back or not. Eleven letters that should not be tossed around easily. You don’t need to say them back immediately just to show that you’re invested in whatever you’ve got going on, but it seems that if you’re not quite ready to open up emotionally, not all of us are happy about it.

The dynamic has changed and it takes a while but one day the penny drops. None of this was ever given a status or a tag, but if there’s someone in the background that you didn’t know about, and are only just finding out about, then it’s definitely not going to work. Questions are asked but no answers are given. It turns out that there’s deception in silence.

Leading someone on is never right, why would you mislead someone just because you’re bored with whoever it is that you’re with right now? If you don’t like him or her, don’t you just end things? Why try and pursue something with someone else if you’re already in a relationship or even living with someone? What’s the point in playing with someone else’s feelings just because you’re not quite sure what your own are? Maybe the difference between a girl who wants to be with you and who doesn’t, is one that will always tell you the truth. A little fib now and again is okay, it’s fine to pretend to like each other’s parents. For someone to think that your signature dish is excellent, when in fact, it tastes like shit. It’s okay to say that you like my t-shirt even when you don’t. Does your ass look big? That’s a whole other minefield, but obviously the answer is no.

Don’t lead anyone on. If you think even a tiny bit that you don’t want someone, then that’s cool, go and do your own thing and they’ll do what they need to do. Don’t feel sorry, maybe it’s just modern love. Oscar Wilde probably said it best, ‘Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.’ Pretty cynical, don’t we all hope for something more?

Did it hurt to let go? Fucking right, but it hurt more to try and hold on. Any time we have options, we’re in a position of privilege but it sure doesn’t feel like that right now.

Is this modern love? If it is, who wants any part of it?

You fucked up, it wasn’t me, we both know it. It only takes one word, five letters, to make things okay again between us but it’ll never be what it was. It’s up to you if you want anything from this.

Tell me you’re sorry so we can maybe move on.

@TheSamMcLeod

@YouMeMusicLife

Not so typical…

Chance. Fate. Luck. Serendipity. Do any of these things even exist? The butterfly effect is essentially the theory that a single, random occurence, no matter how tiny, can change the course of the universe forever. It can change the course of your universe forever. There has to be something to it, right? Sometimes the smallest of things will change the direction in which your life moves. An answer to a question posed to you. The merest hint of you indicating that you like someone. A weird circumstance or situation that you find yourself in. That one moment that connects with you like an explosion out of nowhere. Lives have changed because of all of these things, haven’t they?

Do we create our own fate every day that we’re alive, or is it about something else that is completely out of our control?

Maybe nothing happens by chance and there is no such thing as luck. What if there is a meaning behind everything? Maybe we’re not switched on enough to see it at the time but surely we’ll come to a realisation about it at some point. That boy you like who suddenly likes you. The girl you like who suddenly likes you.

Before you get to that stage where you’re both aware of what it is that you want from each other, it can be difficult to connect the dots. Do I really like them? What if they reject me? Better to ask and be rejected than not ask in the first place, you’d imagine. So you have to trust that the dots won’t let you down and that they’ll connect and give you everything you want. You have to trust in all of it, don’t you? Chance, fate, luck, serendipity. I guess, I hope that what is meant to be will always find a way to you. Life would be shit otherwise.

It can be difficult if you’ve been lonely or you’ve been hurt. If you could only have met that one person for you a long time ago, then you’d have been able to dodge all of the things that you needed to get to the one person that you’ll belong to for the rest of your life. Isn’t that journey a good thing though? Maybe you just need to find that person for you at the right time. What if you needed that time? Maybe you found him or her by accident. What if though, and consider this, there is no such thing as an accident, it’s just fate not spelt in the way that you recognise. They can be the same thing? What if it’s not a typical love in the way that you get together? Love will always be enough, won’t it?

Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humour, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible. Hopefully though, if you recognise it as the right thing for you, you’re able to start connecting those dots again. Surely to fuck, there isn’t anywhere that you’re not meant to be in any given moment? Think for a second to think about how many people don’t get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to be with? Maybe it’s the universe fighting for all of those people to find each other and to be together? It’s not a massive stretch to believe that some things and some feelings are too strange and strong to be coincidences.

It’s too easy to sit and wonder why things turn out the way they do. Just accept it, don’t second guess it and give it a go with all of your heart? If everyone else around you, sees two people that are meant to be together, isn’t that fucking fantastic? You might think that there is a line in the sand that you shouldn’t cross, but isn’t it called that because that line is easy to erase? Wouldn’t you regret everything for the rest if your life if you didn’t tell them?

Once you do, you’ll notice that when your mind is drawn to someone new, their name suddenly pops up everywhere you go? If you care deeply about someone, there is your start. It’s a coincidence in all likelihood. Coincidences mean though that you’re doing something right.

Japanese people call it hitsuzen. It’s a naturally preordained event. A state in which all other outcomes are impossible. Sounds a lot like fate. Just saying.

A complete stranger can change your entire world, your entire being for the better. Seems pretty awesome.

Sometimes you might think that everything could have been different for you, and you’d be right. What if you didn’t answer that call one day from an unknown number? What if you didn’t go to that bar or that party? Maybe though there are some other times you think that you were bound to end up exactly where are now though.

You might meet that one person that day or that night and you look into their eyes and you know, that those eyes show you that your past, present and future are all the same thing.

There is no disputing the fact that some people enter your life, at the exact point when you need them. Coincidence or fate? The one thing you’ll know is that they’ll bring a smile to your face and most probably make your heart burst.

It’s never easy and some people never get to it. It’s a crazy, winding path. Maybe now you’ve made that connection, you’re a different person with a different history, and certainly a different future.

You have to embrace it but sometimes you’ll realise that some things, no matter how unlikely, are just supposed to happen. Be the best you can be for that one person who is going to walk into your life and will need you to love the bones of them.

Don’t get it wrong, it can be tricky. You might wake up one day and realise that this love will determine the rest of your life. Scary as hell. How about a change of perspective?

When you find a soulmate, you have to be together. Hopefully your past life experiences have guided you to make the right choices.

That is life, isn’t it? Chance. Fate. Luck. Serendipity. A long series of you never being able to pause to breathe, to understand what fate has handed to you. All you can do is hope for the best, because ultimately, it all comes back to those four things.

He or she has the best kind of smile, or maybe the worst kind, the kind that gets you into trouble. Perfect.

Maybe it was fate that you finally connected. Those dots again.

You might ask yourself in a slightly confused manner why they chose you or you chose them? What if fate drove you towards each other? If for the rest of your life, it’s the both of you against the world, isn’t that the best thing ever?

@TheSamMcLeod