No matter what you do, no matter what you achieve with your life, isn’t there always at least one moment when you have to give yourself a pep talk? You can be feeling so good about everything that’s going on in your world one day, and then tomorrow comes, and you can’t see how things can possibly get better for you. Ups and downs, just part of life. You can’t dwell on it though, you need to pull yourself together, and the best person to help you do that, is usually the face looking back at you in the mirror. You constantly ask yourself questions when you have one of those kind of days. Are you happy? Did you do things today that mattered to you?
If you’re struggling, and you have no one to turn to, you go it alone, you make decisions on your own. Sure, you have people in your life that you care about and who could give you advice. Family is important, friends are important, but if you’re lucky, you have that one person in your life that makes every day better. You want to be with the person who tells you to have fun when you go out with your friends, and who gets excited when you come home. Someone that you can share sunrises and sunsets with. Love should be a partnership, not a dictatorship, right? None of us are here forever so if you’re going to share your life with someone, you need to choose wisely. Someone who makes the good times better and the hard times easier. You can be an individual, but still be part of something bigger than yourself.
Whoever you choose, is just another choice, as harsh as that may sound. Don’t we all make choices every day? What to do, what to eat, what to wear? You want your life to be the best that it can be, so you choose. None of us want to just exist though. Isn’t it all about challenging things, challenging yourself, evolving, exploring and thriving. We’d all like to be an absolute rockstar in life, and to stand out everywhere in everything that we do. To stand out to the people that we love. Becoming a superhero to someone would be pretty cool. Who doesn’t love superheroes, as long as you don’t choose someone who’s your kryptonite. Maybe, all this time, your superpower has been loving someone else.
The person who sleeps beside you. The person that you decide to try and make a life with. The one person that you discuss the big decisions with. The person you hold, hug, kiss, touch. It’s a big decision deciding who you embark on the journey with. Maybe you take advice from people, you listen to everyone, maybe you listen to yourself. It’s impossible to be everything to everyone in your life, but there’s always a part of you that can’t stop trying to do it all, to try and make everyone happy. That’s tough, but you try, don’t you? You want to become the person who you always thought that you would be. There is one person there by your side, supporting you and making you better. Doing for you, what you do for them.
What happens if that one person isn’t around one day? Or every day?
They’re gone, you’ve lost them. You can want to do nothing about it, but you can also want to do everything about it. Fuck. Maybe Marilyn Monroe said it best. Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together. It doesn’t feel like that at the time though, does it?
If that day comes, you can have no idea where you are any more, what to think any more. You’re standing still, maybe you’re even going backwards, everything has changed. What do you do? You miss stuff. The care, the friendship, the joy you shared, the happiness, the love, the support, the warmth. Maybe the worst part is losing the friendship. That one person who stepped into your life and who always had your back.
When something good happens in your life, you want that one person there to share that happiness with. For some of us, thankfully, we can have that. For some of us, we can’t. Figuratively, it can feel like your missing a leg if that person isn’t around.
What do you do though? It’s not cool to jump straight into someone or something else if you really loved who you’ve just lost. Is your life just pretend for a while? Pretend you never met her? Pretend only superheroes exist? Pretend that the love that you shared would have died out anyway in time? Pretend that their love won’t belong to someone else in time? Pretend like your heart doesn’t hurt? Pretend that you’ve forgotten her name?
Maybe you are a superhero, and maybe there is no kryptonite. You’ll find out in time if you want to move on, won’t you?
This heartbreaking moment could be your reckoning. Perhaps you look at everything differently now. Inadvertently and suddenly, nothing is without meaning. No excuses for what you say or do. In the nicest possible way, fuck what everyone else thinks. You set new goals, because it’s just you now. Nothing is a bad idea any more. You’re a superhero, you just don’t know it yet.
A superhero who would give anything and everything for people in your life without looking for praise or validation. Giving without taking, we’ve all fallen for a superhero at some point.
Don’t you love who they are and what they make you? You don’t need a fictional superhero anymore, because you have one now. Or you did, but you’ve lost them. Fuck.
I want you to know that I’m hurting but I don’t want to tell you.
I met a superhero. I lost her. I want her back.