A reason for all that I do.

An ex girlfriend of mine once went to a psychic. She was asked to take photos with her of the most important people in her life. Clearly, I featured in this and the psychic saw my photo and was happy to tell the then girlfriend about what she could expect from me.

The almost verbatim quote is “He’s good for you but he’s Peter Pan, he’ll never grow up”

When I heard this, I thought it was incredibly harsh. I was 24 at the time, I had a girlfriend who I loved but I also saw my friends regularly, I enjoyed a night out, with and without her, where was this coming from?

How could someone know that from one photo? I’m sceptical about the whole psychic/horoscope thing, I can’t see how anyone can guess what is in someone’s future. That said, I understand that a lot of people put a lot of faith and trust in it and I massively respect that.

How amusing is irony though? Fast forward to years later. I live on my own in a flat that I love. I have a massive television. I have music pictures on the wall. I have foreign movie posters adorning my hallway. I have a video games console. I have a MacBook. I have separate wardrobes for work clothes and casual clothes. I have bookcases on every single wall. Christ, I even have a trouserpress, it is clearly a boy pad.

More and more, I’ve thought about that day and how maybe what that psychic predicted was going to be true.

Newsflash, not true. I’ve changed my thinking and some of these things will be no more. It’s time to grow up and evolve and I’m looking to share my life with a girl who has become my best friend. Scary times, yet exciting at the same time. Holidays, house hunting, every day is an adventure.

I just want you to know.

What goes around, comes back around.

At some point, a lot of us will have wished revenge on someone at a time in our lives. More than likely, it will be an ex girlfriend or boyfriend, an ex wife or husband, or just an ex lover.

That said, it’s never cool to harbour a grudge or to wish that bad things would happen to people, even if they have hurt you, upset you or caused you disappointment.

Karma, in Indian religions is the concept of action or being understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. According to the Jainism perspective, neither a God nor a guru have any role in a person’s karma, the individual is considered to be the sole doer and enjoyer of his or her karma and it’s fruits.

You always need to remember that what you do now will come back to you in the future. Life has that way of kicking you in the balls, of reminding you that you’re not perfect either. Karma has no menu, you get what you deserve, right? The thing is though, you don’t need to do anything to someone that has wronged you. Just sit back, get on with your life and wait for them to mess up. If you’re lucky enough to see them mess up, then that might give you a crumb of comfort. No point in revelling in someone else’s discomfort though surely? Trying to dim someone else’s light won’t make your light shine any brighter.

One day, that person will realise that you truly cared for them. They’ll miss you being around, they’ll miss you putting up with all of their imperfections. They’ll miss you not giving up on them because you loved everything about them deeply. They’ll end up regretting what they did to you, about all of the damage and hurt that they’ve caused you. Someday though, they’ll turn around to speak to you and you won’t be there waiting for them any longer. You were worthless to them but they’ll soon realise your true value when you become priceless to someone else. Karma.

Revenge shouldn’t be part of your plan, they’ll fuck themselves on their own. You could destroy them if you wanted to but why bother? Just breathe, walk away and let karma take over. Everyone’s true colours will show in time. You can be fooled initially but patience is indeed a virtue, you’ll realise eventually. Sure, it’s easy to think sometimes that you could and should be able to order karma like flowers and have it delivered to whoever you wanted to but what’s the point?

No matter how angry or sad you are at the time, your yesterdays are gone, never to come back. You could have done this, you should have done that, no point worrying any more. Your dark world ached for a splash of the sun and it’s coming. It’s karma.

If you’ve found a good person, than that’s pretty much the best that you can hope for. That’s a good thing though, isn’t it?

Is it natural to take great enjoyment out of anyone feeling bad? I don’t know but thinking ruefully today, I guess what goes around comes around.

@TheSamMcLeod