Whispers in the night-time.

Many of us are used to having control in every aspect of our lives, unless we’re married because we all know who’s in charge then. In all seriousness though, you decide how your life goes every day, don’t you? You choose the clothes that you wear, what you eat, what you do on the weekend, red, white or no wine with dinner, no one picks rose, the television shows you watch, what time you head for bed. Life can seem pretty simple usually but now and again, it’s the most difficult thing for any of us to deal with.

It turns out that sometimes we all have things in our personal lives that we can’t control. It’s tough and definitely has a negative effect and impact on all of us. Maybe how much depends on each of us as individuals and the coping mechanisms that we’ve developed. That’s assuming that we’ve even managed to find anything at all to make the darkness a little bit lighter. It’s easy to go off the rails, you can be resilient but when something or some things happen that you didn’t expect, it might click suddenly that you’re only human after all. Control has left for a little while but you need to try and wrestle it back, right? What do you do though? Bottling things up can never be a good thing, but it can be the easiest thing. Everyone gets advised or told to speak out, to ask for help but no one wants to show that they’re vulnerable, no one wants to feel like their soul is turning itself inside out. Misguided or not, perhaps it’s just pride, it’s a hell of a thing.

Male pride, whether male or female, we’ve all experienced it. As a man, when you realise that a part of you is broken, the last thing that you want to do is tell someone that you’re not who they thought you are, at least not right now anyway. It’s more than okay to be hesitant at first, but asking for help will be your most important first step. Mental illness is something that’s often not visible to everyone else in your world. It’s going to be one fucker of a journey with countless ups and downs and finding comfort or resetting yourself can be a constant process.

Imagine that you’re holding onto two bottles, you drop them on the floor, what happens? They both break, don’t they? Thing is, it’s how they break that’s important. While one bottle crumples into a pile of glass, the other shatters into a jagged edge weapon. We all break sometimes, but we don’t all break the same. You have to take a shot though before it’s too late. Thing is, a shot at the buzzer only counts if you drain it. Take the shot. if anyone in your life thinks any less of you for daring to reach out, then are they worth having around?

Just maybe though, everything’s going to be okay.

Different things can make your head and your heart hurt. It’s often said but everyone is going through some sort of personal battle that no one else knows about. If you think one day or in that one moment that someone close to you might be hurting, can it ever be a bad thing to try and reach out? Sometimes questions are scarier than answers, but you’d rather know than not, wouldn’t you?

A question is asked about the most important person on the planet. This one amazing human being doesn’t get told the truth about the question and it hurts like fuck when I find out. The relationship is gone and it seems like there isn’t anything that can be done about it. One person’s perception is their reality, despite what the truth might be. Life feels like a daydream.

How do you try and get through your days, weeks and months when someone thinks that you’ve caused them pain?

Self pity is never a good thing. Closing everyone out in your world out can never be healthy but that’s what happens. The curtains stay drawn, social invitations are politely declined, sometimes even ignored. Everyone knows that something is wrong but no one wants to stick their head above the parapet and find out what the deal is. It’s fine, again, we’re all human.

Trying to take control, but I don’t know how to. A day comes though and it’s fine to realise that whilst you maybe don’t want to expose your frailties to your friends, it’s easier to do so to a stranger. Help is fine, isn’t it? Tears? A shit ton of them but it’s okay to be told that it might be okay, no judgements are made. Opening up to someone will be the best thing you can do, who wants to be in the backseat of their own life?

I don’t want to be sad any more. I just want to wake up and realise that everything’s going to be okay.

All proceeds from this song will be donated to various mental health organisations across the world that work to help destigmatise mental health issues, please go and buy it if you feel like you want or are able to help.

For those of us who are experiencing crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.

If you’re in the UK, please call the Samaritans on 116123, at any time, day or night, free of charge.

http://sadforever.lauvsongs.com

@TheSamMcLeod

@YouMeMusicLife

The world could change it’s heart.

Day 2.

The time for the tradition of making resolutions in 2019 is edging closer.

If something has happened to you this year that’s knocked your self-confidence, then isn’t there only one resolution to make for 2019? Love yourself more? There are other things that are important, of course there are, but is anything more vital than your own self-esteem being at a healthy and high level? Maybe one of the best days you’ll ever have arrives when you decide that your life is your own. It sets you up to be better to everyone else that you care about or that you come across during every day, doesn’t it? No point in beating yourself up over any mistakes that you might have made in the past. There’s no longer a need to say or make an excuse to anyone, now you lean and rely on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to stand in your own sunshine.

Life becomes better, surely? Those difficult decisions that you need to make in your life are a bit easier to decide upon because you trust yourself more. What’s the point taking this incredible journey through your life with the handbrake on? Wouldn’t that make you feel more deserving of all of the good things that you desire? You might find that you have more focus than ever before, you can go and try and achieve all that you want. Treating yourself better can be tough but how great could it feel, if and when you get there?

You move forward and and hopefully you doubt yourself less than you did before. Your opinion of yourself increases, so maybe you don’t need the attention or validation from other people that you did before, certainly not those individuals that caused you pain in 2018. Why worry about what others think of you, do you care more about their opinion than you do your own? Accept who you are, but go ahead and make the changes that you want to, not just because you think that someone else wants you to be different. You’d give anything for an inner stability, wouldn’t you? It’s tough when things you have going on are negative or uncertain at times but all of us can push through, even if you might need some help now and again. Keep the good people close.

Maybe there’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark.

Don’t we all need to realise how important that we are to the lives of some people? How essential you can be to someone that you might never even have met. Don’t we all leave something of ourselves when we interact with another person? Maybe 2019 will be the year that you find a shit ton of stuff to care enough to make room for in your life. You should be number one though.

No one wants to be relying on someone else for our happiness. If you have someone that you love and are in love with, then that’s fantastic, but make you happy first of all. Let someone in when you know that you’re ready to trust yourself to be in touch with everything that you’ve got going on. Maybe it’s the case that if you can’t love yourself, no one else will be able to. Isn’t it only you that’s responsible for you?

Go and do that one thing that you want to do in 2019. There will always be someone out there to tell you that you’re making the wrong decision but lose them from your life, fuck what they think. It’s about you. Baby steps, but you don’t need to know what the entire world needs, what is it that you need? Go and do it. Why waste time?

Each of us has suffered various emotions this year. Feeling defeated at times, hurting at loss, struggling to know where we are or where we’re going, but we’re still here.

Beautiful people don’t just happen. Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.

We’re stars and we’re beautiful

#YouMeMusicLifeResolutions

Now you’re gone, but I’ll be okay.

Good things come and go in life. Bad things come and go in life. Good people come and go in life. Bad people? You get the picture.

There are many things that make each of us happy. We all like different things. Music, sports teams, television shows, we all have different opinions on many different subjects and that’s cool. Your opinion on a certain subject may make you like someone or dislike someone. Again, that’s cool, why shouldn’t that be the case?

We all experience new things on our lives on a daily basis. In some circumstances, we’ll remember some experiences fondly. We’ll look back on others with sadness, regret, perhaps even anger. That’s just how it goes, right?

When life is going well, it’s the best thing in the world. Each of us are happy and that has a knock on effect on how we treat everyone that we come in contact with. It can make each of our days a little bit brighter and that’s an amazing thing. More than likely, we’ll feel more positive about the people that we meet, the challenges or circumstances that face us and the obstacles that we may have to overcome.

Hopefully, each and everyone one of us has one or more person in our respective lives that we’d do anything for. There are people in my life that I’d like to think that I’d die for if I had to. There are people in my life that I’d also like to think that I’d kill for if I had to. All melodramatic, I know but it’s just how I feel. I doubt I’d be alone in thinking these thoughts. Friends and family are important but it’s easy to take those people for granted.

Some people will stay in your life forever and that’s a wonderful thing. Some people will also leave your life quickly or perhaps over time. That decision to let people go can be be easy but it can also be very difficult. When you’re facing a tough decision about who to keep in your life and who to let go, self doubt can creep in.

It can be a torturous time, deciding who to keep in your life and who to let go. However, chances are that the decisions or heartache that you are going through is not fuelled by the words or actions of those others; it is fuelled by the mind that gives it credence or importance.

Not too long ago, I had to let someone incredibly close to me go. It was difficult to do but the relationship wasn’t healthy any more and it was better for me to say goodbye to that person.

It was a tough decision at the time but I’m a great believer in making sure that you look after yourself and to try and keep yourself happy.

The good memories have faded but the bad ones have too. It’s not good when you miss someone but the emotional pain will grow less as time passes. I used to think that my heart was broken, but time is a great healer.

I miss missing you.