Give yourself a moment.

We all have a lot of stuff going on in our lives. Some good things, maybe some great things, some bad things, maybe some awful things. We all have a ton of problems, different things that we need to think about, to make decisions on every day. Some of them are known only to you; some might involve other people. Some things are big, some are little, but they’re definitely different for all of us. All of our problems are unique though, because we are unique. We all lead lives filled with issues, some can be changed or fixed easily, some can have you scratching your head about what the fuck to do about them. Just life I guess, sucks to be an adult at times.

Life can throw you a curveball when other people’s problems impact your life. You’d do anything for your family or friends though, wouldn’t you? Time to look after them before focussing on yourself, but whilst it’s not always the easiest thing to do, it’s the right thing to do. Help others, but if you can’t, the last thing you want to do is hurt them, so you try your hardest. Advice, a shoulder to cry on, letting them know that you’re at the end of the phone for them, let them know that they’re not alone. The little things sometimes turn into the biggest things. Isn’t it a beautiful concept that others come first and you come second? Perhaps it’s a form of love that makes you think, that makes you believe that the happiness of another person is essential to your own happiness. Loving a friend so selflessly means that you share in their happiness whether you are part of it or not.That can never be bad, make someone happy and be happy too, win win. Sure it’s easy to take from people, but sometimes all you can do is give until it hurts. You give what you can whether it’s a little or a lot. Maybe it’s who we are from the start? Like everyone that’s gone before all of us, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. It’s easy to be a good friend to others but sometimes it’s more difficult to be more of a friend to yourself.

Caring and thinking of others is awesome but if your present moment is filled with good things, and you’re switched on, you see them. Maybe you need to give yourself your own advice and take yourself away from life for a while, and get totally immersed in the right now rather than everything else that’s going on around you. You need to stop and take a breath sometimes, give yourself a moment and let your body be. Count one, two, three.

An email drops into my inbox that I don’t expect. I don’t know the person, I have no idea when I see their email address and picture as to why I’m even on their radar. I read the message, I understand it and it’s an opportunity to change my life. Not in a Nigerian prince offering billions of dollars for my bank account details kind of way, but something that will need to turn the focus on myself, rather than the friends and family that I’ve been making sure are okay for the past number of years. It feels like that all I have and that all I need is right here in this moment. My index finger hovers over the reply icon. What if life is about not knowing as much as you think you know, about having to change everything, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next? Scary, but maybe every great move forward in your life begins with a leap of faith, with putting one foot in front of the other, taking a step into the unknown. I can be here now but will it be better to be somewhere else later? Consonants and vowels are formed, words take shape. The index finger hovers again but finally clicks the send button.

It’s taking a chance, but shouldn’t you try and promise yourself that you’ll enjoy every minute of the day that is given to you? No point in fucking worrying yourself with what happened yesterday, or what’s going to happen tomorrow, none of us know. What if you get that one call, that one email, that one text, that might change the possibility of everything for you? Maybe we all need to learn that this moment is enough, as long as we have the belief to make it so. It’s all an adventure, so why not try and look after yourself from time to time?

We all endure tough times and the dawning of a new year can feel almost cathartic. Looking after people rather than yourself is an emotionally draining experience. The here and now is all we have, but if we get it right, isn’t it all we’ll need? Nothing is more important than this day. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t here yet, so the focus needs to be on today. That said, there’s less than 72 hours until a meeting that could change my life forever. Those people I’ve been fighting for are okay now, but they might need to be without me for a little while, because this is about me for a second.

Excited?

It’s okay to be chasing stars and to find a place and lose it.

@TheSamMcLeod
@YouMeMusicLife

Perfect pretenders.

Don’t we all want things in our life to be perfect? It becomes easy to lie to yourself when you find out that everything isn’t quite what you’d hoped. Maybe when you get to that point in your relationship where you just feel like you don’t know each other anymore, or it turns out that you perhaps didn’t know each other to begin with, you realise that the end is near. You thought you knew what this was. You can think that your relationship is good, but when it turns out that it’s not, but you know that you wanted it to be, it can sting. It’s good to remember the good things though instead of the bad, no point in making yourself hurt more than you already are. Nothing wrong with that, something ends and you both move on. Some do it more quickly than others, whilst some of us are a bit more guarded, a bit less trusting. It’s a shame, but you choose to let people into the deepest parts of your heart, life or mind when you’re ready. If they’re worth it, won’t they stick about and wait for that minute when you finally let your guard down?

At some point in our lives, most, if not all of us will have discovered that feeling of secretly liking someone that’s suddenly come on your radar. You wish that they knew what you thought about them, but it’s okay to be scared of what the answer might be if you dared ask a question. So, you keep it to yourself, you try to lock it inside, and then perhaps one day that moment will come when they notice you or you finally get your shit together and ask them. No big deal if they say no, there are a ton of people out there for all of us, right? That one person for each of us thing can’t be real, can it? Liking someone doesn’t mean you have to be lovers, sometimes maybe you just end up friends. Maybe nothing at all happens between you both and you carry on with your life. It’s tough to make yourself not like someone but you work it out.

If you don’t expect to like someone and then you do, it can come as a bit of a shock, especially if you don’t think you’re ready.

She came out of nowhere. Just like in the movies.

It was innocent, yet also a reminder about how many different ways there are to meet people these days. It can happen pretty much anywhere now, can’t it? A bar, a restaurant, a nightclub, a supermarket, a hotel lobby, a dating site, the possibilities are almost endless. Nowadays, it seems like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have decided to crash the party. Take Twitter, a good way to turn ten minutes into an hour. It’s always cool if someone new follows you, but if someone started following you in the street though, you’d be right to feel more than a little bit alarmed. Okay, maybe not the best example ever, but it’s different online, you’re protected somewhat, you choose who you follow, who follows you, who you interact with. It can be random who decides to be a part of your timeline, but isn’t that half of the fun? You can learn new things, meet new people, expand your social circle. I’m definitely not the only one who has met Twitter friends in real life and every single one of them has been amazing. They are amazing.

I guess it’s different for a lot of us. Some people automatically follow everyone back, and that’s cool, it’s our own individual experience, so you should be able to choose. It’s not a snub if you don’t immediately follow back, it’s definitely something that might change in time, no biggie. Someone might decide to follow you, so you check out what they’ve been saying and you either follow back if you like their words, or you decide not to if you don’t.

Obviously you need to be careful, but you trust yourself with your judgement. Never underestimate how much a tweet or a reply might change your circumstances though.

A girl that I don’t know adds me, so I check her out. She looks cool, is into some similar things, and I find some of what she says amusing, so I follow back. Almost immediately, it’s forgotten about, we’ve all got shit to do in our daily lives, right? One night, I’m distracted and scrolling through and I see a tweet from her. She looks like she might be in trouble, so I reply to see if she’s okay. How much trouble can you really be in though, if you have time to tweet about it? Always clever after the fact. A reply comes in and she’s okay, so all good. Nothing wrong with caring about people, even if they’re strangers.

A few days later, a note drops into my messages, thanking me for looking out for her. No problem, a cursory reply is sent. She chooses to keep the conversation going and we end up messaging each other most days from then on. I like the way she used her words, and then one day, I liked the way we used our words together. You can usually tell if someone likes you and you definitely know if you like them back, you can feel that there’s something there. Email addresses are exchanged, numbers are swapped and daily conversations become a part of the norm. Facetiming every day, who knew that would become a verb?

I’m still not 100% sure that I’m ready to let go of the past, but she seems like the kind of someone that you don’t want to play by the so called rules for. Wait three days and then be in touch again? Why can’t tomorrow be our three days, why can’t tonight?

We just didn’t know what it would become. We’ve all been guilty of letting things move too fast with someone new. Head over heels for something that’s not real? Isn’t it right that if two people jump into a relationship too fast, they’re headed for failure? Thoughts of that person will pop into your mind randomly and repeatedly throughout the day, so it can be difficult to try and let your relationship develop at its own pace. How many times have you wanted something to really be something and then you find out that it’s not? Reality kicks in. It was far too much, far too soon and it fizzled out. There might have been a lot in common, but maybe there was nothing alike.

It’s probably always an idea to give your brain enough time to catch up with your pheromones.

That bridge might look like it’s burnt to a crisp right now, but maybe it’s for the best. Then again, it might not be, I guess time will tell.

Maybe it could never be us. At the moment, it’s just you and I.

@YouMeMusicLife
@TheSamMcLeod

We were boxing the stars.

Sometimes it’s the tiniest things that brings your feelings to the surface. A spark of emotion can trigger a laugh, a smile, a tear. Different things do that to each of us, a random meeting with someone that you didn’t expect to see, perhaps a message out of the blue.

All you want with someone is to feel good, right? When you’re with them, it doesn’t matter that the world is messed up, because they could be your world now. That one person that makes your bad days good, and your good days even better.

It’s sad to have love and not be able to share it with anyone, but isn’t that the point, you don’t want to share it with just anyone? You need to take a chance sometimes, do you keep your hand by your side forever or put it on someone’s heart? Take a leap of faith and hope that they treat you right? Sure, go for your life, no one needs or wants to be played though, so you’re careful. There’s no sense in being with someone when all they want to do is manipulate you. Someone who wants to beguile and seduce you is infinitely better, right? If you’re looking for, or trying to find someone new, there will be hiccups, there will be bumps in the road. The good parts can become great, but now and again it’s hard not to think of those times when things went wrong before with someone different. You still try though if you really want to, no point in moping around forever, but it takes balls to put yourself out there.

How do you read the signs to figure out that someone likes you? Maybe everyone around you tells you that the person is into you, always nice to have a helping hand if you’re not self-aware. When they’re always the one to start the conversation, when they listen to you all the time, when they continually offer you compliments, doesn’t the penny begin to drop? Perhaps they’re a friend so you’re naturally in touch regularly. You can look back on things later and realise that the conversations always centred on the same topics. No one that you like are good enough for you, in their opinion. The subject gets changed when you mention someone that you might potentially be into, they’re always talking in future tense about what comes next for the both of you. When you’re in their company, you catch their eye and they’re staring at you, whilst smiling a lot. They find excuses for you to be alone together and they remember details about you that others don’t.

It’s possible to look at people differently as your friendship or relationship grows. Feelings can change and then there might come a day when you can’t hold back. You might finally click that a friend is looking for an answer to a question that you’re not sure if you’re prepared to ask. Tough to do, what if the whole situation between you both changes, will you kick yourself forever or be happy to have taken the plunge? You can like someone without always having to tell them and yes, the rejection might be painful, but isn’t it worth putting yourself out there? Shouldn’t they find it flattering even if they don’t like you back in that way? Thinking about it too much can be a difficult place and sometimes you don’t know if you can ask any of your other friends for advice. You can be absolutely surrounded by people but feel lonelier than ever.

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

She didn’t let him know about her secret for a long time, thinking that she was content to stay in the friend zone forever. One night she told him drunkenly during a lengthy catch up, that he was just wasting time with any of the other girl friends in his life, and then promptly hung up. Clearly, some things are too obvious to some to stay a secret for too long. He has to move forward but isn’t entirely sure that he’s really thinking, the dynamic has changed now. A conversation happens again soon after, and it’s clear that she doesn’t remember anything that she said to him. What to do, does he say something or not? She’s a cool girl, they’ve been friends for years and maybe there could be something, it could be the start of something amazing.

No point asking the question unless there might be that possibility to take it to the next level. Courage is plucked up, the words are spoken and he gets that one reply that can break you. No. Talk about using a shotgun to kill a mosquito.

Time passes and she’s in touch again. Make your mind up if you like someone, this doesn’t need to be a masked ball where we all go as someone else. Be yourself.

It’s now clear that she likes him a lot but when someone says no, it’s difficult to go back, isn’t the friendship a more important thing to save? She could have been a girl that he could have fallen in love with, but she’s pressuring him to do something now that he wanted to do before, and something doesn’t sit right. Can he fix the problem between them? Can she accept things and realise what they had and hopefully still have, is more important than potentially fucking it all up?

He knows that it’s not going to work out now, and it’s for the better if they give it up. Only one of them is willing to admit it, but even though she messed it up, she should know that he’ll always be there for her in the end. It’s difficult but don’t we all need to do what feels right, even if someone wants us to do something else?

What you could possibly expect under this condition? If you’ve ever been alone, you’ll know.

There was a chance, but maybe we were boxing the stars.

@TheSamMcLeod

It just takes some time.

Day 12.

2019, another day of growing. Another day of growing up though?

When we’re young, the thought of getting older doesn’t enter our heads too much. We’re young, we’re innocent, we pretty much don’t have a care in the world. Our parents look after us, we get the love that we didn’t know we needed, but it’s there. The cost of clothes, food, things to do as a family are all covered by someone else. You don’t know yet how grateful you are because you’re not emotionally mature enough. One day things change though, and then maybe one of the two most important people in your life aren’t there anymore.

Relationships end, but you only know and understand that when you’re older. Dad was there and then he wasn’t. He visited a lot though, so at first things didn’t seem too different. We hung out, we did things that any child and parent would do, kick a ball around, go to the park, hit the funfair. Essentially though, you’re being raised every day by a single parent. Money is tight, things are hard and despite the other parent being around, you realise that things are different now. No trips for the three of you together, less attention obviously, and a dawning realisation that your life will probably never be the same again.

A lot of older people say that your schooldays are the best days of your life, but at the time, you think they’re bonkers, right? There’s a saying that “there’s nothing more pure and cruel as a child.”

Word spreads at school and the bigger boys, the bullies are lapping it up. Fun is made of the fact that he’s not around so much. Your clothes aren’t as new as they once were and you know that she can’t afford what she once could. No fault of anyone, just circumstance. It doesn’t stop those bullies taunting you every day, to the point where you wish that the day could end and you could be at home. Going home with a black eye or blood on you, quickly makes you learn that it’s better to lie, rather than to hurt someone else with the truth. I tripped, I fell, it happened at sports. You might not be religious but you pray for the weekend to come.

You dread Monday coming around, don’t you worry what their bitter hearts are going to say?

Is it true that people who love life don’t hurt anyone? Perhaps the more that some people hate themselves, the more they want others to suffer hurt, emotionally or physically. It’s so difficult sometimes to be yourself in a world where a lot of people around you during your formative years, are trying to make you be someone else. Bullying is fucking horrible, but it turns out that there’s no reason for it to stick with you forever. Bullying is for people who zero confidence, they’re scared of you. You have something that they don’t, and that’s why they pick on you. Try not to let their words affect you because they’re the ones needing confidence, not you. Sure, you try and do all of the little things it takes to dodge them as you grow up, but you should never stop trying to having fun too. You don’t want to become everything that you were afraid of when you were growing up.

It’s tough and sometimes you hold on to things the way that they used to be. You can wonder what’s to come for you and that’s okay. You can feel bullied as an adult but don’t all of the same rules as a child to try and get past it all, still apply as you get older? There are new days to come, there will be other days to come.

This year could be amazing, maybe you have something on your horizon that excites the hell out of you? Is there sometimes a part of you that thinks because something came together so beautifully and so quickly, that it doesn’t mean as much as something you struggled with? You might be imitated by many, but you’re duplicated by none.

Don’t write yourself off yet.

@TheSamMcLeod
#YouMeMusicLifeResolutions

Pull me closer.

Day 11.

2018 was over in a flash. For some of us, it was a struggle from the start and for most, a year containing a swirl of emotions. Maybe 2019 can be future in the making for a chosen few. The new year, a pathway to finding out everything you need about what will make you as happy as you can be in the year ahead. We all have our favourite memories, we all have our deepest regrets about what’s gone, but can we fix them? Do we want to fix them? Sometimes you don’t get a choice, things just play out the way they want to.

There’s different cuts of people in this world. The one person that you know that nothing is ever going to happen with. The maybe someday. The almost happened, the someone that could have been forever for you, if only either of you had a bit of courage. You might have had people in your life forever, or maybe some came on your radar in 2018. A chance encounter can lead to a friendship and more, can’t it? What about the people that got away? Could a resolution be to try and get back in touch with someone? Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time? There can’t be many things worse than meeting the right person at the wrong time. Some people come into your life and you just know you’d struggle to replace them if they left. The people that we wish things had worked out with, are much more important to us than the ones we wish we’d never met.

There’s your very first kiss and the one person that got away. Maybe the two aren’t mutually exclusive? No one surely chooses to be a regret, to be a ‘what if’. Then, there are people you meet and you know that something’s going to happen between you both eventually. Can you keep them?

If circumstances dictate that things between you and someone else can’t work out, is it better to wish that you’d never met, that you’d never noticed each other?

I was doing just fine before I met you.

There was never going to be a fight that tore us apart, it was just fucking circumstance. Days, months, years go by and then suddenly one day, things change, there’s contact. We started to talk again and the feelings that went away, came back with just one smile. Getting over her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I don’t think I can do it again. I had let the thought of her go, far less the thought of us. It’s even more complicated now so it can only ever be glances and smiles from afar.

We’re somewhere between nothing and something.

It’s different for everyone, sometimes things make more sense the second time around. If we keep ourselves thinking about giving someone only one chance, we might lose out on something beautiful. Time can have a way of putting things back together. You’ll find each other again if that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Maybe the faster that can you get over that one person that got away, the faster you can move onto the one that’s waiting for you.

You’re moving closer.

@TheSamMcLeod
#YouMeMusicLifeResolutions

Trust is a luxury.

Day 10.

2019. The resolutions we make will be mostly for ourselves, won’t they? It’s okay to be thinking of someone else though, someone who you care about. Caring and thinking about other people is a good thing to do. Maybe pat yourself on the back if you want them to have a better year than you, or maybe just be humble and wish them nothing but the best. Much better to spread the love, right? It makes us giggle, it makes us smile and also makes us happy when we remember those moments that we shared with the special people that were in our lives in the year just gone. Sure, there’s some regret but it’s just life. It has a way of giving you an incredible high one day and then making you plummet the next.

We all have a lot to ponder in our quiet moments as the year progresses, we pay a lot of attention to our thoughts. How far we’ve come and how far we still have to go, how strong or how weak we are. You hope for good things to happen to you, whilst hoping that the worst things in your life don’t come to be. Isn’t it true that maybe the only thing that needs to change for you to have a good year is your way of thinking?

Thinking of someone else is a good way to start the year. If that person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to stay. It’s okay if they need to go though and be with someone else, what’s the point in reserving a place in your heart for those people who don’t want to make an effort to hang around?

Trust is a luxury.

She stood out. That’s not always easy to do in a world when there’s so much hurt going on every day. We were together forever, but on and off forever too. Intrinsically you know there are a lot of relationships that were never meant to happen but this one did. You know it might be something better and different when you don’t necessarily like someone the way that someone else does. I liked the things that she wasn’t even aware of, the way she would smile, the way she twirled her hair. The way she acted weird, the words that she could never pronounce correctly. Sometimes it’s about the story with someone and I wanted to keep on turning the pages.

Things changed because one day something happened with her. There are so many reasons to be happy, don’t all of us deserve a happy ending? Another choice to make. When you start compromising your morals, far less yourself, it’s probably time to change the people you have in your life and so it ends.

A lot of us are hopefully good people but when we have those type of relationships that go wrong, we need to find closure. You try to get rid of that relationship but isn’t it always worth mending a friendship if you get past the romantic stage? No grudges, but you cut that shit off because you know it’s gone.

You keep going though. No matter how many mistakes we make, or how we get through our lives in the year ahead, aren’t we still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying?

No point in hating. I wish you nothing but success.

@TheSamMcLeod
#YouMeMusicLifeResolutions

Take it all in your stride.

Day 9.

A new year, perhaps one of those times when you think what the next twelve months will hold for you. How lovely would it be if all of us got everything that we wanted in the year ahead? Imagine too that we all achieved all of our goals in 2019? If you’re making an important decision, isn’t it a good idea to ask if the answer that you come up with, will move you closer to your goal or farther away? If the answer is closer, you know what to do. If it’s farther away, you know that you have to make a different choice. It’s super important to know who you are, to be able to make your own decisions.

We all make some every day and those can impact on whether you have a good or a bad day. Some decisions are obviously more important than others, deciding whether or not to change job, to leave someone or to start something new with someone else. What do I want to start doing, what do I want to stop doing, what do I want to keep doing? What to eat or drink, what to wear, are easy things to think about, you almost always decide instantly about the choice that you make. A lot of us are lucky and sometimes know intrinsically what the right thing to do is, whilst others fail to decide on anything without sleeping on it first. You can’t wait too long though because maybe over time, your indecision becomes a decision. When you’re having trouble making a decision, are you making it too soon? It’s okay to be on the edge if you’re finding it difficult to decide because there are times that having a choice can spell trouble, and you don’t know if it’s your head or your heart that has the right answer. Fuck. Some of us even go out of our way when it comes to avoiding having to make a decision. Bizarrely decisive. Why though? You can make mistakes and know why you made them, but it was your choice. Every decision can bring something bad, some good and can definitely teach you some lessons.

Don’t run, don’t hide behind it. Stand up and shout about it

The troubling part right now is that a certain day is drawing closer, and it’s nearly time to choose between having the possibility of having a yesterday again, or thinking of what tomorrow could bring. That yesterday could be amazing, but what if the other choice is better in the long run, how do you choose? Perhaps the idea is to go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that’ll enhance your life more. There’s a song lyric that says that “sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.” It might just be right.

It’s okay to doubt yourself but sometimes we all have to have the courage to decide what our higher priorities are. It’s okay to say no to some things when you really need to say yes to others. Some of the bigger decisions mean that you have to explain to the people closest to you about why you’re making them. You shouldn’t have to, it’s your life, but humility is something to hold dear and you need to have a difficult conversation with them. Does there come a point when the penny drops that you can’t live your life to please others? The choices you make belong to you.

If someone has wronged you and you want to give them a second chance, you can’t hold onto the hurt that they gave you and still be happy. Forgive and forget, choose yesterday and see how things go. Time for a new start and moving on? Choose tomorrow. You look hard at your life and ask yourself plenty of questions. Can I take this leap or do I try and hold onto what I might be losing by choosing tomorrow? Will either of these choices make me grow emotionally? If it’s time to make a decision about what comes next for you, keep your fingers crossed. Living life on the edge in 2019?

Stay strong and never doubt it.

@TheSamMcLeod
#YouMeMusicLifeResolutions