Exhale.

How we view ourselves is different from how others view us, isn’t it? We all live in a world where everyone likes what they like. Different food, different hobbies, different people, just how it should be.

Take good looking people for example. Does it matter how physically attractive someone is, if they don’t appreciate your personality? Everyone might think differently, because what you might find to be attractive is different from what someone else will find to be attractive. Also, your personality can make you more or less likeable, can’t it? Your personality, your outlook on life, your sense of humour are a massive part of what attracts someone to you. Isn’t compatibility based on how you and your partner think about each other are as a human being?

There are so many girls that are out of my league, no question. When you tell yourself that someone is out of your league, you begin believing it, don’t you? You ask someone out for dinner or drinks and they say no. It sucks. When someone turns us down, it’s always because of self doubt. We think that we’re not good enough in any facet of our life to hold onto this person’s attention. Maybe we’re not attractive enough.

Even when the situation is one that we don’t think we can control, don’t we all put people into a category? Too pretty. Too handsome. Not pretty enough. Not handsome enough. It’s incredibly judgemental but haven’t all of us seen two people together as a couple and wondered, “How the hell did they end up together?” If we think that way, aren’t we all contributing to a problem in life that we really don’t need? Who decides who is out of your league? Just you, right? As well as everyone else perhaps?

Doesn’t it all boil down to the fact that a lot of us think that physical beauty is the most important thing when we look for someone new? Are we all that predictable? Hopefully not. Aren’t we hurting our own self-perception though when we think that way? It’s hard to be vulnerable with anyone, especially if you think that someone will reject you. If you give into that fear, aren’t you actually missing out on some really great experiences. You’ll never know.

Before you even decide who is in your league or not, don’t you evaluate yourself? The mirror is an unforgiving mistress. Am I a six out of ten? Maybe a seven? A four? Who fucking knows if you don’t? What if someone else thinks that you’re a nine? Will I even give them the chance to tell me? We’re our own worst critic, and with that, comes self doubt. When we’re insecure, our self-esteem goes through the floor. When we think like that, how shit would it be if the person you liked, decided to like you back and then you thought that you weren’t a match because you thought that they were better than you? Don’t you trust yourself to have an interest in someone with similar qualities to yourself? It’s tough though.

Don’t we need to stop forming daft opinions based on how beautiful someone’s eyes are, how much the shape of their lips make us smile, how much their eyes sparkle when we look at them? No, would probably be the right answer, but all of those things are still important though, aren’t they?

The thing is, not everyone is like you or me. We all have a different idea about who we want as our significant other. Perhaps the point is that someone’s looks shouldn’t hold any more value than what their personality does. Their mind is more important than how they look or how their body is surely?

Shouldn’t we all stop buying into ideas about who we should see and about who should be interested in wanting to be with us? Remind yourself of this as regularly as you can. Also, remind yourself that no one is out of your league either.

At first, I thought people who were incredibly attractive were out of my league. You’d think once I realised that not everything is about looks, my thoughts wouldn’t be as shallow. It’s not that transparent though. I believed that if someone was smarter than me, or funnier than me, that they too were out of my league. Needless to say, I was wrong.

Aren’t the thoughts of our relationship goals being upset, by knowing that the other person is hotter, and being far more attractive than we are? Intimacy is traded for vulnerability. Feelings can go and fuck themselves at times.

Ironically, personality is such a big factor, so knocking back a person because of how they look could make you lose out on a person who could be great for you, if you just got to know them. On the flip side they might be totally wrong for you. How do you know until you try though?

No risk, no reward, right? If you like someone, you might as well try. Rejection? A definite possibility. Thing is though, you also might find that someone that you never thought would find you attractive actually likes you a lot. You need to ask though, or you need to answer the question if it ever comes. Have some courage.

She asked me to go for dinner. I haven’t said yes or no yet, I’m conflicted. She’s far too pretty and I’m average at best. She’s cute, she’s hilarious and she’s so self aware, how the hell am I ever going to match up to her? She’s out of my league.

We’re not out of touch but are we out of time?

@TheSamMcLeod

One day, you and I, will write our names in the sky.

Is it possible for someone else to know what you’re feeling without you telling them? Can you look at someone’s face and know how or what they’re feeling?

Most of us on this planet can pretty much do what we want with our hearts and our lives, and that’s an amazing thing. Sometimes though, you can’t do what you want with either of those things and that’s when it becomes complicated.

Andy Warhol once said “As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it.” Bullshit or not, I’m finding it tough to decide if he’s right. Once you want someone or something, everything changes for you, doesn’t it? Everything is always easier said than done though. You can want someone or something, that’s easy. Saying something or doing anything about it can be a little bit trickier. Isn’t it almost like wanting someone but not doing or saying anything to try and have them? You have to step up. If you meet someone and you like them, you shouldn’t be ashamed in liking that person. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to experience something new with somebody.

It was a random night. I’m sitting in the hotel bar, nursing a bourbon and catching up on news from around the world on television. I didn’t see her at first, she was in a quiet part of the bar, clearly looking to be left alone as she read her book. I happened to glance over, she caught my eye, and we both smiled and then looked away. I kept glancing back and I swear that she saw me doing so out of the corner of her eye. Thing is, she did exactly the same thing and it took all of everything that I had to stop from smiling. Eventually, she came over and asked if she could watch the news with me. Clearly it was okay but she fell asleep almost immediately. Smooth.

She napped and then woke and we chatted about lots of things. Eventually, I excused myself and went to bed. As I walked up the stairs to my room, I think about how I got excited by her words. I think about her smile that could hush thousands of voices. I think about the things that I never said, the questions that I never asked. All of those questions that you never ask though, don’t ever get a reply.

We would bump into each other over the next few days and it was conversations full of smiles, stolen glances and a shit ton of awkwardness. Maybe I’m in her head but I’d rather be in her arms. What are emotions anyway?

Suddenly it was her last night, although I didn’t know that at the time. A couple who I’m friendly with invite her through to sit and have wine with us. As the girl half of the couple speaks to her, she starts to cry. Us two boys see that as our kryptonite, and we go outside to speak. When we eventually come back in, we find out that the girl is engaged and has flown over here to see her fiancé. Problem is, he dumped her whilst she was in mid-air, travelling from thousands of miles away to see him. Now the dynamic has shifted. The girl is in tears and thankfully, is being comforted by the female.

I didn’t realise how tough it was going to be before I knew all of this and now I’m convinced that it’s not even fair for me to try to tell her that I like her. What if she asks me though, unlikely as that may be? I can’t lie to her if it’s how I feel, surely? I find myself hoping that she doesn’t ask. Let’s face it, you don’t want to say anything that you can’t stand behind completely.

I knew what it was like, wanting someone that you could probably never have. Intrinsically though, I know how it’s impossible to un-want her, once my heart tells me what I already know. You’d think my head would step in at some point and slap me silly but you’d be wrong. We were so close and danced around things for a few days but now? It’s the biggest distance between how it was and how I ever thought it could hopefully be.

If whatever you’re going to do is wrong, should you just do whatever you want? I couldn’t, I could see that she was hurting and I didn’t want to make things worse. I can’t tell her. Just because I’ve seen her a lot though, it doesn’t mean that I wanted too much, does it? Maybe if I have made her feel something, it means that I’ll never be forgotten?

Inadvertently, I’ve read things wrong. If there is any chance for us, I need to right those wrongs so that we can be side by side. On the right of her side. To be there for her. Maybe to be there for me too.

I have questions though, right? Whether she’s the one, whether I feel about her the way that I should? The Portuguese call it saudade. Longing for something so indefinite as to be indefinable. Clever bunch.

I’ve spent my days and night since she left trying to find the words to explain the feelings I have. There are explosions of emotions that I can’t even comprehend. It seems doubtful to me that I could even make her aware of at least a tiny fraction of what I feel. I know that it would be unfair on her right now, so I won’t. I can’t.

No matter what anyone of us think about someone, what we do is dictated by what we feel. I wanted to tell her but I couldn’t because circumstances dictated otherwise.

It’s okay to have boundaries, but it would be lovely to step over them now and again, just to see if they can become an adventure. Once again, I couldn’t, that wouldn’t have been a cool thing to do.

It was 4am. I was still up, nursing a new bourbon and she was checking out to go to the airport. I heard the ping of the elevator and I saw her step out. I smiled, walked over and lifted her bags for her as the taxi idled outside whilst she checked out. I placed her bags into the taxi, watching her with solemn eyes.

The sudden prospect of having to say goodbye to her tugged at my heartstrings and I could feel that although she was hurting, she felt the same. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me. I put my arms around her and I pulled her close. I held her for a long time, longer than I should have, but then reluctantly and gently, I let her go.

I gave a soft smile and a tender wave, before glancing away. I needed a moment, before walking back into the hotel. Alone.

Maybe goodbyes aren’t forever, they can simply mean, I’ll miss you until I see you again?

If you get to where I am and if I throw away my fear and pride, to set things right, then I’ll find mine on the right of your side.

@TheSamMcLeod

You elevate the life in me.

Trust, ironically is hard for me to trust. That’s why my circle of friends is small. I’m a bit of a social hand grenade when it comes to making new friends.

At least I know that, but I know it’s on me. Is there anything better than having friends though, keeping those special people in your life? You should never lose a chance to make new ones, right?

True friends are the people who make you smile every single time that you’re in touch with with them, remotely or in person. New friends can often have a better time together than old friends, can’t they? It’s that excitement of when you start a new relationship, isn’t it?

If you’re a decent human being, then you should kind to everyone, but you want to choose the best people to be your friends, don’t you? No point in choosing them otherwise. Assuming that they choose you back or that they accept your friendship in the first place.

It’s nigh on impossible for you to know which of the strangers you’re going to meet that’ll become your friend. Being polite to everyone is a pretty good rule to live your life by though. You don’t want to be careless with other people’s hearts and you shouldn’t put up with people who are careless with your heart.

It can be tough however. A lot of us are closed doors, we can’t just open up when we’re asked to. Some of us aren’t pieces of paper, you can’t unfold us and find out what you need to know. Aren’t there always parts of us that we want to close off from the world? Bits of us that we can’t even touch ourself because they’re too painful. Too tough, right? Now and again though, you meet someone who instantly gets you. Someone who illuminates the in-between.

What is the meaning of a good friendship? How significant it is in your life? They can give us comfort when we need it, can’t they? The Japanese have a word, kenzoku, which when translated, means family. It implies the deepest connection of a friendship. Pretty cool.

It’s not always that easy though. Good people come, good people go, bad people come, bad people go, it’s just life. You always know when something comes to an end, don’t you? It’s simple though once you get past your heart hurting. When you let certain people and memories go, it just means that you’re making some room for other people and other memories to take their place. You need to let some people go, to detach yourself from their life. Before a new chapter begins, you tell yourself that the old one needs to end.

Regardless of where about in the world, your new friends live in relation to you, you automatically understand that there are precious few you that you should hold onto. You work hard to bridge the gap in geography and time initially but then it becomes second nature, you make your friendship work. Sometimes it’s easier than that, things just click and a random conversation leads to a new friend. Someone that you can tell anything to. Someone who can tell you anything that they feel that they want to. A new friend.

Happiness with your friends is all you want surely? Those smiles of new friends can help if you’re feeling down. You would do the same for them though and hopefully you pull each other through if either of you is having a bad day. You can accept inalienable truths from a good friend, sometimes it might be what you need.

You can take advice from anyone but sometimes it’s that new friend who can help you see what you need to.

It was random how she came along. Just someone reaching out to someone else. That first contact meant that other contact followed. A conversation started. It turns out we have a lot of things in common. Sport, music, our sense of humour. Don’t forget tacos. It’s a new friendship and it’s pretty cool. We’re in touch when each of us wants to be. Hours or days could go by with silence and that’s fine. We’ll converse back and forth for ages and that’s fine too. I sleep when I need to, she sleeps when she needs to. One of us will be awake whilst the other sleeps and we just go about our day or night. We’re just friends but again, that’s pretty cool.

It’s amazing how easy it is for things to change in your life. You think your day will be the same and then you wind up somewhere new. It’s a new friend, a new boyfriend or girlfriend, maybe a breakup. Maybe at the same time, each moment we experience has another thousand moments underneath that make it looks different. Make a new friend, what’s the worst that could happen?

My day, my experience was meeting someone new that makes my days better.

@TheSamMcLeod

Everybody dies but not everybody lives.

Decisions, decisions. Buy ice cream or not? Pretty easy. Have a beer tonight or not? Again, not too difficult to choose. How about moving across the world to be with someone? How about deciding to marry someone? How about deciding to have children with someone? Some decisions are more important than others, aren’t they?

Isn’t the rule that whatever seems to be a massive and potentially life-changing decision, the less it seems like a decision at all? Perhaps the worst part of it is that other people can make life-changing decisions for you. Just life, I guess.

Is it easier if you ask yourself the question? If you’re going to though, you need to trust that you’ll be able do something with the answers, don’t you?

Maybe someone broke up with you, maybe you were the one who ended it. Still tough either way. Is it true that sometimes we need to be absolutely heartbroken by something, before we finally understand how bad it was for us? How about how good things might become?

Sometimes, something horrible in your life can occur in a split second that changes your life forever. You didn’t see it coming, how were you possibly to know?

The thing is that no matter how much planning you do, one tiny mis-step, one moment of a lack of concentration can end it all in an instant. Life, right?

You can plod through your life with nothing changing from one day, one week, one month, to the next. It doesn’t really matter how much you ask for something to shake you up, don’t you need to take control of it yourself?

Your world has changed. No one else might know anything about it but all of a sudden, your next heartbeat will be different to the last one. Deep breaths.

So what do you do now? You want things to be real, don’t you? Not for them just to be an idea that you have. How about a plan? How about deciding to do everything that you’ve ever wanted to do? A bucket list?

Bucket lists are supposed to be about doing things you’ve always dreamt about, not about making the wrong things in your life right.

Everyone surely has a path to follow that’s important to each of us. It’ll be different for every single one of us, of course, but isn’t it important to find that one reason to live and to appreciate the life that you have? It could be anything. What would be on your list?

Imagine going through the whole of your lifetime without laughter. How about laughing every day? Simple wishes.

It’s cheesy but don’t you need to seize the day before the sun sets every night? You’ll need to take a deep breath and almost take a blind leap of faith. Scary as shit. Let go of what is worthless, invest your time in the things that you want to do and the people that you care about. Everything important to you is precious, isn’t it? Holding them close because they won’t be here forever. The people as well as the moments.

Again, so what do you do? Dream a new dream, set another goal? Tomorrow, smile at a stranger and mean it. Fuck it, do it today.

If your dreams don’t scare you, are they big enough?

If things aren’t making sense or adding up in your life, isn’t it time to start subtracting? Is it true, is it helpful, is it inspiring, is it kind, is it necessary? If you answered yes to all five questions, then you know what to do. Everything that you’ve ever wanted. It might not always be easy but fuck, won’t it always be worth it? Make a list. I’ve just done it. Shouldn’t you be excited to try and give yourself everything that you’ve ever wanted in your life? Wise people will tell you that no one ever gets everything that they want, and whilst that’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it worth trying for all of those things?

Doing the things you love is like a good marriage. Once you get into it, it’s difficult to get out of and why the hell would you want to?

You let your success make your noise, don’t you? Maybe you will, maybe you won’t, worth a try at least. Maybe the little things you do in your life will become big things when you look back on them.

How about travel? Doesn’t it force you to trust strangers and to lose sight of everything that you thought you knew? You are constantly out of your comfort zone. You’re not au fait with everything in your life any more. All of your journeys will have secret destinations, won’t they?

Whether it’s travel related or not, you’ll have no idea where to leave from and and no clue about where you’ll end up going. Pretty cool.

Make a list of the things that you want to do and start ticking them off. No, you’re not lucky, you’re blessed.

@TheSamMcLeod

As simple as a change of heart.

Why is the best fruit always forbidden?

Have you ever fallen for someone that you know you shouldn’t have? Maybe you tried hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn’t stop what they were telling you. It’s tough though, to hide them every single day, especially when you know that you want to shout to everyone from the rooftops about the new person in your life. Isn’t a part of a new love exposing everything about yourself, almost to the point of potentially being hurt by someone that you think you trust? You fall deeper with each passing day, don’t you? They’re only a friend though, nothing will happen. You keep on saying to yourself that you don’t want anything to occur, but you know that you behave differently when you meet their eyes. You’re not being honest with yourself. You keep telling yourself that it isn’t right.

What if they’re out of bounds, if they’re completely out of your league? They’re too beautiful, loads of people want to be with them. Zero chance. The kicker is that she’s married and her husband is a famous footballer. It was not fucking cool at all. He couldn’t help it though, much as he wanted to.

No matter how many beautiful people that you set your eyes upon, if you’ve already set your heart on someone, do you even notice anyone else?

She was a secret crush. She’s beyond beautiful, smart, funny and she’s super chilled. She swears like a sailor, she’s basically the complete package. Most important of all though, she’s kind and she’s generous, not just to other people but with her thoughts and her feelings.

A glance turned into a stare. It was impossible for them to be together, to be anything at all. Try and hide it, so that no one can see? Not a chance. Pretending forever? Not a chance. You tell everyone that you’re just friends, that you’ll never be anything more. Again, you can never show your feelings though. Maybe you don’t want them to know because your friendship can’t be risked over this. What if she was the one doing the chasing though?

Maybe you don’t need a girl or a boy who says that they have to have you. Maybe you just need that person who says that they’re afraid to lose you.

It’s so hard but sometimes, you have to question your instincts and choose a different path. It’s not always that easy, everyone gets that. All he knew for sure is that they were on a course to somewhere, and it was nigh on impossible to know where they would end up.

Everyone kept telling him how they thought that she felt. They said that she didn’t care, but she never showed him that she didn’t. They told him that she didn’t love him. They kept telling him that she was no good, but he was the only one who saw something different in her and nobody understood why. He looked in her eyes and he knew that there was something there.

One day, she kissed him. Isn’t it true that sometimes all you need is just a second of courage? He kissed her back.

They got together and it was incredible. He fell hard. All he wanted to do, all of the time was to be with her. Grab her hand, wrap his arms around her, cuddle her. Send her flowers, leave little notes in her bag when she visited him or when he visited her. Compliment her on how fucking astonishing she was. Isn’t that what all of us should want? She asked him exactly how he felt, she demanded complete honesty. He told her that he loved her and she breathed out, and told him that she loved him too. She was holding her breath, waiting to listen to the words that she was desperate to hear leave his mouth.

For however many reasons there might be why they got together, there were always more reasons why they shouldn’t have. Although he was a tad naive, he knew that it would be tough, that there would be obstacles to overcome. He wanted to be with her for the rest of his life though. Forever. Forever ever. All is perfect in their world now, right? No.

One day came along, and she said no, she said that she didn’t want the same things from him as he wanted from her any more. As she told him, he felt like his ribs had clamped shut. It was like bullets hitting him behind the eyes, everything was not as it should have been. Devastation wasn’t the word, he didn’t understand, she had seemed like she wanted all of him. Sometimes, there’s maybe too much truth in this world and not enough understanding and he had none of that in that moment. She was why his legs almost collapsed every time that he saw her. Becoming her boy was now an impossible wish. She didn’t want him any more.

People might tell you that it’s painful to forget someone you love. Some other people might tell you that it’s painful to wait for someone you love. Everyone will get hurt by someone in the course of a relationship. Getting hurt is a part of life. It’s not easy though. She told him that he couldn’t be her everything as well as her secret.

He moved on though and he accepted it. No other choice.

Months passed and then one day, she showed up on his doorstep asking if they could go for dinner. He acquiesced, it would have been rude not to. She poured her heart out and told him that she’d made a mistake, that she wanted to be with him and that she’d do whatever it would take to be his girl.

She broke his heart that night because that was all that he’d ever wanted. The problem was that he’d promised his heart to someone else by this point and he wasn’t going to go back on his word.

Sometimes you’ve got to give up something to get something. Turns out that something else matters in your life.

@TheSamMcLeod

Say something.

Aren’t the regrets in your life the things you haven’t done, rather than the things you have? Those lost opportunities, those lost possibilities, the feelings that you might never get back. Those moments, when you lose them, can they be found again? They’re gone forever. Aren’t they? Hopefully not. Will we ever know though?

The chances are that if you ask people what they’ve always wanted to do, the most likely response is that they haven’t done it. Me included. Sad in a way, almost heartbreaking for all of us.

We pray for opportunities or chances, we seek out opportunities and we yearn for the slightest chance of something that we want. The good news is that we’ll meet opportunities in every day that we spend on this planet. The bad news is that we miss a lot of them, only to come to a later realisation that we fucked it or them up. Isn’t an opportunity like a bus or a train on the move? Once it’s doors have closed, it’s gone. Another one will come along but will it carry better opportunities? A sliding doors moment, right? Too often, we might miss out on a chance of something because we were too busy or we were too distracted. Maybe we were just shit scared of asking a question and being rejected. Who can say, perhaps we just missed those chances tapping us on our respective shoulders. Excuses will always be there for you, opportunities might not be.

Can you ever undo it, ever unlive it, or relive it all? Why not take the plunge? Say something. Maybe you could have had what you wanted. You’d be silly to not ask the question, wouldn’t you? Don’t miss all of those opportunities along the way to do what you wanted to do because you didn’t have the confidence to tell yourself. Say something?

Some people say that it’s not what happens in your life that matters, it’s what you think happened. Just bullshit or is it true? It can be quite possible that the most important thing to happen in your life will be something that didn’t actually take place. Make sense or not? Maybe you missed the opportunity to make it happen. You wanted it to but you didn’t follow through.

Maybe all, maybe just some of us go through life disappointed in ourselves. Do we all keep a memory of that one moment when we missed out on someone or something?

It was too easy to start rushing towards all of the excitement at a million miles an hour. I should have taken the chance but I didn’t.

It was a road that we didn’t take, towards a door that we never opened. Correction, a road that I didn’t take, towards a door that I never opened. We chatted. We flirted. We joked and we touched each other in a way that people who like each other do. Bumping shoulders, gentles nudges in the ribs, playful rubs of each other’s backs. We shared stories of our travels, tales of your life in Zurich and mine in Sydney and Scotland. New York featured a lot. My favourite city in the world. What are the chances of bumping into you when the place has over 8.5m people living there?

It hits me that I’ve lost you, although I never really had you. Will you now rank among the things I’ll always regret? I’m not sure. Okay, definitely an opportunity lost but should it matter that much? Maybe it does. I found myself feeling for one of the first times in my life that I’d maybe missed out on something. On someone.

Not going to lie, there’s a constant differential dynamic between the excitement and thought of someone new and the security with one person. Not that I have her but taking the chance is scary, perhaps the reason that I didn’t ask the question that I should have.

I always win in my imagination but this time I lost. You might have said no to dinner, to drinks, to something more. I might never know now. I’ll probably never know now.

Don’t be afraid of missing those opportunities in your life, give them a go. Behind every bad decision or misjudgment is an opportunity that somebody wishes they had missed.

Tonight it’s easy to feel like the one who is on the sidelines, the one who has missed out.

If I missed my moment, I missed my moment. Fuck.

Say something.

@TheSamMcLeod

Play the victim.

The truth always comes out in the end, doesn’t it? Never underestimate someone’s ability to make you feel guilty for their mistakes. To make you tell lies for them, to the point where mutual friends disown you. I used to care that those friends weren’t in my life any more, but now? I don’t give a fuck.

She was amazing. I’ve never felt a connection to a human being quite like her before, except for one, a very special little lady who will always be the most important person to me on this planet.

She wasn’t as amazing as I thought though, she fucked up. Next to hurting your family, cheating is the worst thing that someone could do to you.

I don’t care who was with her before me but it would have been nice to not have someone there during me.

Cheating isn’t always flirting, kissing, touching or more. If you’re deleting texts and emails, then you know that you’re already there. You’re a cheat. Cheating and lying aren’t relationship struggles, they’re reasons to break up.

You shouldn’t have to deal with someone who wants to take a relationship in a backwards direction, who needs space or who’s cheating on you.

Fuck you for cheating on me. Fuck you for making me use the the word cheating. This wasn’t five card stud or poker. You weren’t sneaking a look at my cards. These were our lives and you messed up both of them. You killed all of this, but worst of all, you killed it when my back was turned. Maybe it was in front of my face all of the time but I couldn’t see it because I loved you. Fuck, I was in love with you.

The truly scary thing about those previously undiscovered lies was that they had a tendency to diminish better people than me, more than the ones that we all find out or know about. They wash away the foundation of our being, our self-esteem, our very strength. Her lies. Her pretence.

Betrayal was what I felt, my heart broken not just by a girl that I was in love with, but also by someone that I believed that I would be best friends with forever. Losing your best friend is the worst. Add in the fact that you then lose all the people in her life that you inherited and loved. Let’s be honest, if they all choose to pick sides, there’s only going to be one winner.

When you cheat in any facet of your life, you dim your own light. You’re threatening your own self-esteem and your relationships with others by undermining the trust that people have in your ability to be true. Their ability to trust you ever again. A chance worth taking? I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure that we all know so. Well, clearly not all of us.

Natural disasters just happen. Earthquakes just happen. Tornadoes just happen. Your tongue does not just happen to fall into some other boy’s mouth. You don’t happen to just trip, fall and land into someone else’s bed.

I was steeped in denial, but my body knew. My mind knew. Worst of all, my heart knew. Maybe sometimes your heart just needs a tiny bit of time to realise what your mind already knows. Sucks, right?

Those who cheat on their partners who are loyal to them; don’t deserve them. It’s a shitty attitude to disrespect a person who is loyal in a relationship, by cheating on him or her. Why? Just go and be with someone else, we’ll get over the pain in time.

I gave my heart to a girl who told me that she loved me, who told me that she wanted to be with me. It turns out that she was afraid of everything that I offered. Whilst that’s okay, it’s not okay to use that to then decide to sleep with someone else, especially when you tell someone every day that you love them. When you hug someone the minute that they walk through the door. When you lie in bed next to someone every night. Lie is the operative word, I guess.

I didn’t and will never understand why she took a chance on our future, cheating on me, again. By the time she tried to smooth talk her way out of it, I was done. No more crying. Even my heart had given up on her, fuck, even my tears had given up on her. I’d already moved on, her cheating was almost the equivalent of moving out and leaving the key in the mailbox.

Some people view love and romance as a bond never to be broken between a couple. Sadly, there are other people that see both of those things as a game, where the goal is to manipulate or twist someone and gain an emotional hold over their partner. Those horrible people who view love, relationships and romance as a game are much more likely to have multiple love interests; cheating is just another way to gain control in their relationship.

She knows though and I hope that whoever is next for her doesn’t ever feel the way that she made me feel. Everyone of us on this planet has feelings. Don’t ever use those feelings, don’t ever take them for granted. If you weren’t interested any more, you should have let me know before you started going elsewhere.

You didn’t just cheat on me; you cheated on us. You didn’t just break my heart; you broke our future.

Never cheat on someone that is good to you. Karma is a bitch.

@TheSamMcLeod