Expectations fail.

He was just an ordinary guy. There was a girl in his life and he liked her. A lot. He was careful with her though, in deciding if she was someone that he wanted to give his heart to. If you get hurt in a previous relationship, you tend to be a bit wary the next time that you feel that you might be falling for someone. The next time that you dip your toe into the water of something new. No one wants to get hurt in the first place, but certainly not again. Sucks for the new person but that’s life. He weighed everything up in his world as regarded her. Pros and cons. She was pretty. She was compassionate, she was funny, she was personable. He could get lost in her eyes for days and her body was bonkers. Six zero to the pros. Was she too good to be true? He didn’t know yet. Despite all of those qualities, something didn’t sit right. If he thought all of those things about her, then why hadn’t someone else snapped her up? Six one. Unfair of him to think that way perhaps, but she still has the lead.

Then one day, he’s sitting reading through his Twitter timeline. A random message from someone drops into his inbox, telling him that the girl he was starting to fall for, apparently has a boyfriend. Six two. It didn’t take much investigating to find out that it was true. For someone who worked in finance, you think he would have done his due diligence, but there it was and now he knew. Clearly, she hadn’t mentioned the said boyfriend, so he knows that whilst she didn’t lie to him, she didn’t tell him the whole truth. Six three. It’s not a comeback on the scale of the Patriots in the second last SuperBowl, but the numbers are beginning to stack up. It was difficult though, they’d been best friends for a while but things had changed, it had all elevated. They grew closer and everything just felt right, they were practically perfect for each other. That’s what he’d thought anyway but it shows how wrong one person can be. How did he not know? Could they get back to where they started from?

He’s devastated, beyond hurt now, because he knows the conversations they’ve had and the feelings that they’ve shared are built on lies. He thought that she was the kind of girl that would change your life without even meaning to. The kind of girl that wouldn’t know that she’d done it, even if you told her. She told him that she loved him and he reciprocated those feelings. Intimate details have been exchanged and tears have fallen on both sides as one would comfort the other, about all of the hurt they’ve had going on in their respective lives since they met, but now everything feels like an untruth. Six four. It sounds like a fucking tennis match in his head at this point. Love means nothing in tennis. Perhaps it meant nothing now in his life.

Finally, he plucked up the courage to ask her about it and she admitted that it was true. She told him that her relationship with her boyfriend meant nothing to her any more and that she wanted to escape it. She hadn’t loved him for a long time and she didn’t want to be with him, he wasn’t the man for her.

He could understand that on some level, because he knew that leaving someone wasn’t always that easy and that perhaps she was stuck in a situation that she couldn’t get out of. He sighed a lot at the thought of it. Still keeping score? 6-10? 12-4? Good luck figuring it out.

What if none of it was true though? Perhaps she wasn’t the girl that he thought she was. He wasn’t sure how much he trusted his judgement any more. It’s okay to like someone, but you don’t want to be the person that breaks up a relationship, people need to work their shit out on their own. It’s not the fault of the guy that has a girlfriend that has been interacting with someone else. Maybe she’s difficult at home all of the time. Maybe they argue constantly and it’s of her doing. Maybe she doesn’t connect with him, emotionally or physically. Maybe she leaves the toilet seat down. It’s cheating, isn’t it? She’s definitely bad news for him and she’s forbidden fruit now. You don’t get involved with someone in a relationship, regardless of whether or not it’s toxic.

Intrinsically, you want to believe and trust everything that someone tells you. Unless they try to tell you that the Yankees are the best team in baseball or that the Giants are better than the Jets.

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If you want someone to blame and you can’t find that person in the mirror, you choose the nearest target, don’t you? The other person. He didn’t blame her for long, it’s part of his nature to forgive. She admitted everything and apologised, and that was enough for him, as tough as it was to hear. You can take things that someone tells you any way that you want, but don’t you just want it to be the right way?

Everything comes to a head though eventually. He’s moving away from her because of the lies and she knows that this is dead now, because of her. Is she finally being honest with herself, can she work to resolve or escape her situation? If you’re not happy, you leave it all, you end the relationship. Maybe she did love him, but she should have told the truth and they could have had a future together. Maybe it was just infatuation, and that’s okay, but you don’t lie about something as important as what your intentions are.

Whatever makes her happy is the most important thing to him though in terms of their relationship, and if that means it’s not with him, then so be it. Part of him didn’t want to give her up but sometimes, your heart rules your head. Or is it the other way around? Move forward should be your mantra every day, but you can’t dictate love. It just happens, no hesitations. Fuck it though, honesty was the best policy with her, with anyone. If she’d been honest, who could say? It’s closure. Better than not knowing whether to forget or to hang around.

Maybe sometimes you need to deny your heart.

@TheSamMcLeod

It’s easier to leave than to be left behind.

I didn’t travel abroad when I was younger. As a child of a single parent, we couldn’t afford it and there was never any possibility of seeing other countries, the rest of the UK included. Now that I’m older, it’s fair to say that experiencing new cities, countries and cultures are something that I enjoy greatly and that I’m incredibly passionate about. I appreciate that a lot of families are unable to take holidays due to circumstance and it’s something that I never, ever take for granted.

Amsterdam is intriguing, to say the least. Barcelona never fails to amaze. Venice is like something out of a film, so picturesque.

Preferred destination for me? New York City. Eight million stories.

It’s my favourite city in the world. I’ve been fortunate enough to have been more than once and every time that I have the pleasure to visit, I learn something new about this amazing place. Did you know?

1. Pinball was banned in the city until 1978. The NYPD even held “Prohibition-style” busts.

2. It is a misdemeanor to fart in NYC churches.

3. It costs $1 million to get a license (medallion) to operate a taxicab.

4. The first pizzeria in the United States was opened in NYC in 1895.

5. In 1857, toilet paper was invented by Joseph C. Gayetty in NYC.

6. The Jewish population in NYC is the largest in the world outside of Israel.

7. Up until World War II, everyone in the entire city who was moving apartments had to move on May 1.

8. The city of New York will pay for a one-way plane ticket for any homeless person if they have a guaranteed place to stay.

9. There’s a man who mines sidewalk cracks for gold. He can make over $600 a week.

10. According to New York City’s Office of Emergency Management, the last hurricane to pass directly over the city was in 1821. The storm surge was so high that the city was flooded up to Canal Street.

11. Hog Island, a one-mile-long island south of Rockaway Beach, was never seen again after the hurricane of 1893.

12. New York City’s leading hurricane historian, Nicholas Coch, a professor of coastal geology at Queens College, believes that this is the only reported incidence ever of the removal of an entire island by a hurricane.

13. Up until 1957, there was a pneumatic mail tube system that was used to connect 23 post offices across 27 miles. At one point, it moved 97,000 letters a day.

14. Albert Einstein’s eyeballs are stored in a safe deposit box in the city.

15. There are tiny shrimp called copepods in NYC’s drinking water.

16. On Nov. 28, 2012, not a single murder, shooting, stabbing, or other incident of violent crime in NYC was reported for an entire day. The first time in basically ever.

17. There’s a wind tunnel near the Flat Iron building that can raise women’s skirts. Men used to gather outside of the Flat Iron building to watch.

18. About 1 in every 38 people living in the United States resides in New York City.

19. New York City has more people than 39 of the 50 states in the U.S.

20. There is a birth in New York City every 4.4 minutes.

21. There is a death in New York City every 9.1 minutes.

22. The borough of Brooklyn on its own would be the fourth largest city in the United States. Queens would also rank fourth nationally.

23. New York City has the largest Chinese population of any city outside of Asia.

24. New York has the largest Puerto Rican population of any city in the world.

25. PONY stands for Product of New York.

26. In 1920, a horse-drawn carriage filled with explosives was detonated on Wall Street killing 30 people. No one was ever caught, and it is considered to be one of the first acts of domestic terrorism.

27. In nine years, Madison Square Garden’s lease will run out and it will have to move.

28. UPS, FedEx, and other commercial delivery companies receive up to 7,000 parking tickets a DAY, contributing up to $120 million in revenue for the city of New York.

29. It can cost over $289,000 for a one-year hot dog stand permit in Central Park.

30. Sixty percent of cigarettes sold in NYC are illegally smuggled from other states.

31. There was one homicide on 9/11, and it remains unsolved.

32. There are “fake” buildings in the city that are used for subway maintenance and ventilation. The building below in the middle, located in Brooklyn, has a fake facade. There is no brownstone within.

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33. Chernobyl is closer to New York than Fukushima is to L.A.

34. There are more undergrad and graduate students in NYC than Boston has people.

35. New York City’s 520-mile coastline is longer than those of Miami, Boston, Los Angeles, and San Francisco combined.

36. The Empire State building has its own zip code.

37. The East River is not a river, it’s a tidal estuary.

38. There is a secret train platform in the Waldorf Astoria hotel.

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39. When the Dutch first arrived to Manhattan, there were massive oyster beds. In fact, Ellis Island and Liberty Island were called Little Oyster and Big Oyster Island.

40. McSorley’s, the oldest Irish ale house in NYC, didn’t allow women inside until 1970.

41. Madison Square Park, Washington Square Park, Union Square Park, and Bryant Park used to be cemeteries.

42. There are 20,000 bodies buried in Washington Square Park alone.

43. The original Penn Station was considered to be one of the most beautiful train stations in the world but was torn down because of declining rail usage.

44. NYC garbage collectors call maggots “disco rice.”

45. In 2010, 38% of all 911 calls in NYC were butt dials.

46. Times Square is named after the New York Times. It was originally called Longacre Square until 1904 when the NYT moved there.

47. The entire world’s population could fit in the state of Texas if it were as densely populated as New York City.

48. In 1975, the city of New York sold a private island in the East River for $10.

49. The winter of 1780 was so harsh in New York that New York harbor froze over. People could walk from Manhattan to Staten Island on the ice.

50. From 1904 to 1948 there was an 18th Street station on the 4/5/6 line. It’s abandoned now, but you can still see it on local 6 trains.

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51. The narrowest house in NYC is in the West Village: 75 1/2 Bedford Street is just over 9 feet wide.

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52. In 1906, the Bronx Zoo put an African man on exhibit in the monkey house.

53. Credit card minimums ARE legal in the city. In 2010, Congress passed a law saying up to a $10 minimum was legal.

54. It would cost about $17,000 to take a cab from NYC to L.A.

55. In 1922, there was a Straw Hat Riot. It was an unofficial rule in NYC that straw hats weren’t allowed to be worn past Sept. 15, but some unruly kids started snatching people’s hats a few days before that causing an uprising that lasted a few days.

56. Eating a New York bagel is equivalent to eating one-quarter to one-half a loaf of bread.

57. NYC buries its unclaimed bodies on an island off the coast of the Bronx called Hart Island. Since 1869, nearly a million bodies have been buried there. The island is not open to the public.

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58. There’s a 150-foot-deep hole (15 stories) on Park Avenue between 36th and 37th streets.

59. The price of a slice of pizza and the cost of a single ride on the subway has been nearly equal for the past 50 years.

60. The scary nitrogen gas tanks you see on the corners of streets are used to keep underground telephone wires dry.

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I enjoy all of the little known facts, curiosities and intricacies of New York but perhaps the best experiences of this wonderful city for me, have been sports related.

US Open Tennis, Quarter Final, Andy Murray v Novak Djokovic, September 3rd.

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Boston Red Sox @ New York Yankees, September 4th.

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Oakland Raiders @ New York Jets, opening weekend, September 7th.

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Now that I’m home and given all I that I experienced, I don’t agree that it’s easier to leave than to be left behind. I know where I’d rather be right now.