Say something.

Aren’t the regrets in your life the things you haven’t done, rather than the things you have? Those lost opportunities, those lost possibilities, the feelings that you might never get back. Those moments, when you lose them, can they be found again? They’re gone forever. Aren’t they? Hopefully not. Will we ever know though?

The chances are that if you ask people what they’ve always wanted to do, the most likely response is that they haven’t done it. Me included. Sad in a way, almost heartbreaking for all of us.

We pray for opportunities or chances, we seek out opportunities and we yearn for the slightest chance of something that we want. The good news is that we’ll meet opportunities in every day that we spend on this planet. The bad news is that we miss a lot of them, only to come to a later realisation that we fucked it or them up. Isn’t an opportunity like a bus or a train on the move? Once it’s doors have closed, it’s gone. Another one will come along but will it carry better opportunities? A sliding doors moment, right? Too often, we might miss out on a chance of something because we were too busy or we were too distracted. Maybe we were just shit scared of asking a question and being rejected. Who can say, perhaps we just missed those chances tapping us on our respective shoulders. Excuses will always be there for you, opportunities might not be.

Can you ever undo it, ever unlive it, or relive it all? Why not take the plunge? Say something. Maybe you could have had what you wanted. You’d be silly to not ask the question, wouldn’t you? Don’t miss all of those opportunities along the way to do what you wanted to do because you didn’t have the confidence to tell yourself. Say something?

Some people say that it’s not what happens in your life that matters, it’s what you think happened. Just bullshit or is it true? It can be quite possible that the most important thing to happen in your life will be something that didn’t actually take place. Make sense or not? Maybe you missed the opportunity to make it happen. You wanted it to but you didn’t follow through.

Maybe all, maybe just some of us go through life disappointed in ourselves. Do we all keep a memory of that one moment when we missed out on someone or something?

It was too easy to start rushing towards all of the excitement at a million miles an hour. I should have taken the chance but I didn’t.

It was a road that we didn’t take, towards a door that we never opened. Correction, a road that I didn’t take, towards a door that I never opened. We chatted. We flirted. We joked and we touched each other in a way that people who like each other do. Bumping shoulders, gentles nudges in the ribs, playful rubs of each other’s backs. We shared stories of our travels, tales of your life in Zurich and mine in Sydney and Scotland. New York featured a lot. My favourite city in the world. What are the chances of bumping into you when the place has over 8.5m people living there?

It hits me that I’ve lost you, although I never really had you. Will you now rank among the things I’ll always regret? I’m not sure. Okay, definitely an opportunity lost but should it matter that much? Maybe it does. I found myself feeling for one of the first times in my life that I’d maybe missed out on something. On someone.

Not going to lie, there’s a constant differential dynamic between the excitement and thought of someone new and the security with one person. Not that I have her but taking the chance is scary, perhaps the reason that I didn’t ask the question that I should have.

I always win in my imagination but this time I lost. You might have said no to dinner, to drinks, to something more. I might never know now. I’ll probably never know now.

Don’t be afraid of missing those opportunities in your life, give them a go. Behind every bad decision or misjudgment is an opportunity that somebody wishes they had missed.

Tonight it’s easy to feel like the one who is on the sidelines, the one who has missed out.

If I missed my moment, I missed my moment. Fuck.

Say something.

@TheSamMcLeod

What goes around, comes back around.

At some point, a lot of us will have wished revenge on someone at a time in our lives. More than likely, it will be an ex girlfriend or boyfriend, an ex wife or husband, or just an ex lover.

That said, it’s never cool to harbour a grudge or to wish that bad things would happen to people, even if they have hurt you, upset you or caused you disappointment.

Karma, in Indian religions is the concept of action or being understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. According to the Jainism perspective, neither a God nor a guru have any role in a person’s karma, the individual is considered to be the sole doer and enjoyer of his or her karma and it’s fruits.

You always need to remember that what you do now will come back to you in the future. Life has that way of kicking you in the balls, of reminding you that you’re not perfect either. Karma has no menu, you get what you deserve, right? The thing is though, you don’t need to do anything to someone that has wronged you. Just sit back, get on with your life and wait for them to mess up. If you’re lucky enough to see them mess up, then that might give you a crumb of comfort. No point in revelling in someone else’s discomfort though surely? Trying to dim someone else’s light won’t make your light shine any brighter.

One day, that person will realise that you truly cared for them. They’ll miss you being around, they’ll miss you putting up with all of their imperfections. They’ll miss you not giving up on them because you loved everything about them deeply. They’ll end up regretting what they did to you, about all of the damage and hurt that they’ve caused you. Someday though, they’ll turn around to speak to you and you won’t be there waiting for them any longer. You were worthless to them but they’ll soon realise your true value when you become priceless to someone else. Karma.

Revenge shouldn’t be part of your plan, they’ll fuck themselves on their own. You could destroy them if you wanted to but why bother? Just breathe, walk away and let karma take over. Everyone’s true colours will show in time. You can be fooled initially but patience is indeed a virtue, you’ll realise eventually. Sure, it’s easy to think sometimes that you could and should be able to order karma like flowers and have it delivered to whoever you wanted to but what’s the point?

No matter how angry or sad you are at the time, your yesterdays are gone, never to come back. You could have done this, you should have done that, no point worrying any more. Your dark world ached for a splash of the sun and it’s coming. It’s karma.

If you’ve found a good person, than that’s pretty much the best that you can hope for. That’s a good thing though, isn’t it?

Is it natural to take great enjoyment out of anyone feeling bad? I don’t know but thinking ruefully today, I guess what goes around comes around.

@TheSamMcLeod