Remember when?

A rollercoaster of emotions were spinning inside my head. Anger. Hurt. Relief. Wanting her. She was the only person in the world that I wanted to see in that moment. The trouble was that she was also the last person in the world that I wanted to see. Conflicted emotions and feelings. Fuck them.

Conflict. There’s always some conflict in every relationship. Doesn’t everyone feel lonely or trapped sometimes? It’s not always rainbows, sunshine and unicorns, but sometimes all you need is a little attention.

Eventually, maybe when you feel more in love with your memories of someone, rather than the person that you were with is when you know that things are over? One minute we were inseparable, the next, I was blocked on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

People fall out of love with each other every day, and whilst it might be the saddest thing that a couple can do to each other, doesn’t it just mean that they’ve both grown too tired to try any more? I wasn’t too scared to keep trying but I knew that she was slowly letting go. I knew that she was growing less and less in love with me every day. Love never really dies all at once, does it? Whilst it’s not tangible, you know that you can almost see it fading away, one day at a time. Maybe one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever make is choosing to try harder or walk away.

It’s hard to love someone to the point where you don’t even understand yourself. It’s okay for you not to get it, because I don’t get it. It’s just there, it was there for a long time. When you find love and someone like that, you don’t want to give any of it up. It’s not always your choice though, is it? Hopefully at some point, you’ll be able to give your love to someone else. Fingers crossed. A relationship is almost like a house. When a lightbulb burns out, you don’t go and buy a new house. You replace the lightbulb. Sometimes we lose, sometimes we win. Shouldn’t we always keep playing though? Moving on is a process. You win, you lose, you cry, you smile, you learn not to make the same mistakes. You try, you fuck things up, but you keep trying. What if the worst in you doesn’t want to work on things though?

I didn’t choose to fall in love with her but it was worth almost every second of it. She chose to stop loving me though at a time when I didn’t do anything wrong. We all know that we won’t always make the right decisions. We’ll all royally fuck things up sometimes. Maybe this is a decision that she regrets? I haven’t asked her, and I will never ask her. The thing is, it’s almost like something happens inside the person that you love. They’ve had enough, and that the way the your relationship has been going is no longer worth the effort. It’s okay, it’s their truth, so it’s the truth, isn’t it? Your perception is your reality? I’m not in love with you now but now sometimes I wish I was. Sometimes.

The couples that will be together for as long as they want to be, are the ones who go through everything that’s meant to tear them apart, to divide them. It just makes them stronger, right? Isn’t that what we all want? Now and again though, two people need to be apart for a while to realise how much they need to be together. I wish those people luck, I won’t be one of them. You’ll know when a relationship is right for you, won’t you? It’ll make your life better, not complicate it more than it already is.

Certain dates can be powder kegs for your emotions. An anniversary, a birthday. Even if you know you have to move on, they don’t make it any easier. Your mind drifts towards that person at times, on that day. The occasional thought of you will cross my mind, but it’ll be bittersweet.

Once you move on, you try to forget who hurt you in the past, but don’t you always remember what your experiences with them taught you? If it meant that you became a person who held onto grudges, someone that wanted to seek revenge, and not forgive or show compassion, then did you really learn anything? Your heart might say yes, but your head will say no. Won’t it?

The past is just that though. It can’t hurt you anymore unless you let it. I guess we all need to remember that.

You should never run from the people who you want. You should fight for them. They’re in your corner for everything that life throws at you until they’re not.There’s a cost, there’s a risk but that’s what you sign up for when you enter a relationship. Some work out, some don’t, sadly. I miss her. Sometimes.

Do I want to try again?

The best of me wants to love you, but the worst in me doesn’t want to.

@TheSamMcLeod

One day, you and I, will write our names in the sky.

Is it possible for someone else to know what you’re feeling without you telling them? Can you look at someone’s face and know how or what they’re feeling?

Most of us on this planet can pretty much do what we want with our hearts and our lives, and that’s an amazing thing. Sometimes though, you can’t do what you want with either of those things and that’s when it becomes complicated.

Andy Warhol once said “As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it.” Bullshit or not, I’m finding it tough to decide if he’s right. Once you want someone or something, everything changes for you, doesn’t it? Everything is always easier said than done though. You can want someone or something, that’s easy. Saying something or doing anything about it can be a little bit trickier. Isn’t it almost like wanting someone but not doing or saying anything to try and have them? You have to step up. If you meet someone and you like them, you shouldn’t be ashamed in liking that person. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to experience something new with somebody.

It was a random night. I’m sitting in the hotel bar, nursing a bourbon and catching up on news from around the world on television. I didn’t see her at first, she was in a quiet part of the bar, clearly looking to be left alone as she read her book. I happened to glance over, she caught my eye, and we both smiled and then looked away. I kept glancing back and I swear that she saw me doing so out of the corner of her eye. Thing is, she did exactly the same thing and it took all of everything that I had to stop from smiling. Eventually, she came over and asked if she could watch the news with me. Clearly it was okay but she fell asleep almost immediately. Smooth.

She napped and then woke and we chatted about lots of things. Eventually, I excused myself and went to bed. As I walked up the stairs to my room, I think about how I got excited by her words. I think about her smile that could hush thousands of voices. I think about the things that I never said, the questions that I never asked. All of those questions that you never ask though, don’t ever get a reply.

We would bump into each other over the next few days and it was conversations full of smiles, stolen glances and a shit ton of awkwardness. Maybe I’m in her head but I’d rather be in her arms. What are emotions anyway?

Suddenly it was her last night, although I didn’t know that at the time. A couple who I’m friendly with invite her through to sit and have wine with us. As the girl half of the couple speaks to her, she starts to cry. Us two boys see that as our kryptonite, and we go outside to speak. When we eventually come back in, we find out that the girl is engaged and has flown over here to see her fiancé. Problem is, he dumped her whilst she was in mid-air, travelling from thousands of miles away to see him. Now the dynamic has shifted. The girl is in tears and thankfully, is being comforted by the female.

I didn’t realise how tough it was going to be before I knew all of this and now I’m convinced that it’s not even fair for me to try to tell her that I like her. What if she asks me though, unlikely as that may be? I can’t lie to her if it’s how I feel, surely? I find myself hoping that she doesn’t ask. Let’s face it, you don’t want to say anything that you can’t stand behind completely.

I knew what it was like, wanting someone that you could probably never have. Intrinsically though, I know how it’s impossible to un-want her, once my heart tells me what I already know. You’d think my head would step in at some point and slap me silly but you’d be wrong. We were so close and danced around things for a few days but now? It’s the biggest distance between how it was and how I ever thought it could hopefully be.

If whatever you’re going to do is wrong, should you just do whatever you want? I couldn’t, I could see that she was hurting and I didn’t want to make things worse. I can’t tell her. Just because I’ve seen her a lot though, it doesn’t mean that I wanted too much, does it? Maybe if I have made her feel something, it means that I’ll never be forgotten?

Inadvertently, I’ve read things wrong. If there is any chance for us, I need to right those wrongs so that we can be side by side. On the right of her side. To be there for her. Maybe to be there for me too.

I have questions though, right? Whether she’s the one, whether I feel about her the way that I should? The Portuguese call it saudade. Longing for something so indefinite as to be indefinable. Clever bunch.

I’ve spent my days and night since she left trying to find the words to explain the feelings I have. There are explosions of emotions that I can’t even comprehend. It seems doubtful to me that I could even make her aware of at least a tiny fraction of what I feel. I know that it would be unfair on her right now, so I won’t. I can’t.

No matter what anyone of us think about someone, what we do is dictated by what we feel. I wanted to tell her but I couldn’t because circumstances dictated otherwise.

It’s okay to have boundaries, but it would be lovely to step over them now and again, just to see if they can become an adventure. Once again, I couldn’t, that wouldn’t have been a cool thing to do.

It was 4am. I was still up, nursing a new bourbon and she was checking out to go to the airport. I heard the ping of the elevator and I saw her step out. I smiled, walked over and lifted her bags for her as the taxi idled outside whilst she checked out. I placed her bags into the taxi, watching her with solemn eyes.

The sudden prospect of having to say goodbye to her tugged at my heartstrings and I could feel that although she was hurting, she felt the same. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me. I put my arms around her and I pulled her close. I held her for a long time, longer than I should have, but then reluctantly and gently, I let her go.

I gave a soft smile and a tender wave, before glancing away. I needed a moment, before walking back into the hotel. Alone.

Maybe goodbyes aren’t forever, they can simply mean, I’ll miss you until I see you again?

If you get to where I am and if I throw away my fear and pride, to set things right, then I’ll find mine on the right of your side.

@TheSamMcLeod

You elevate the life in me.

Trust, ironically is hard for me to trust. That’s why my circle of friends is small. I’m a bit of a social hand grenade when it comes to making new friends.

At least I know that, but I know it’s on me. Is there anything better than having friends though, keeping those special people in your life? You should never lose a chance to make new ones, right?

True friends are the people who make you smile every single time that you’re in touch with with them, remotely or in person. New friends can often have a better time together than old friends, can’t they? It’s that excitement of when you start a new relationship, isn’t it?

If you’re a decent human being, then you should kind to everyone, but you want to choose the best people to be your friends, don’t you? No point in choosing them otherwise. Assuming that they choose you back or that they accept your friendship in the first place.

It’s nigh on impossible for you to know which of the strangers you’re going to meet that’ll become your friend. Being polite to everyone is a pretty good rule to live your life by though. You don’t want to be careless with other people’s hearts and you shouldn’t put up with people who are careless with your heart.

It can be tough however. A lot of us are closed doors, we can’t just open up when we’re asked to. Some of us aren’t pieces of paper, you can’t unfold us and find out what you need to know. Aren’t there always parts of us that we want to close off from the world? Bits of us that we can’t even touch ourself because they’re too painful. Too tough, right? Now and again though, you meet someone who instantly gets you. Someone who illuminates the in-between.

What is the meaning of a good friendship? How significant it is in your life? They can give us comfort when we need it, can’t they? The Japanese have a word, kenzoku, which when translated, means family. It implies the deepest connection of a friendship. Pretty cool.

It’s not always that easy though. Good people come, good people go, bad people come, bad people go, it’s just life. You always know when something comes to an end, don’t you? It’s simple though once you get past your heart hurting. When you let certain people and memories go, it just means that you’re making some room for other people and other memories to take their place. You need to let some people go, to detach yourself from their life. Before a new chapter begins, you tell yourself that the old one needs to end.

Regardless of where about in the world, your new friends live in relation to you, you automatically understand that there are precious few you that you should hold onto. You work hard to bridge the gap in geography and time initially but then it becomes second nature, you make your friendship work. Sometimes it’s easier than that, things just click and a random conversation leads to a new friend. Someone that you can tell anything to. Someone who can tell you anything that they feel that they want to. A new friend.

Happiness with your friends is all you want surely? Those smiles of new friends can help if you’re feeling down. You would do the same for them though and hopefully you pull each other through if either of you is having a bad day. You can accept inalienable truths from a good friend, sometimes it might be what you need.

You can take advice from anyone but sometimes it’s that new friend who can help you see what you need to.

It was random how she came along. Just someone reaching out to someone else. That first contact meant that other contact followed. A conversation started. It turns out we have a lot of things in common. Sport, music, our sense of humour. Don’t forget tacos. It’s a new friendship and it’s pretty cool. We’re in touch when each of us wants to be. Hours or days could go by with silence and that’s fine. We’ll converse back and forth for ages and that’s fine too. I sleep when I need to, she sleeps when she needs to. One of us will be awake whilst the other sleeps and we just go about our day or night. We’re just friends but again, that’s pretty cool.

It’s amazing how easy it is for things to change in your life. You think your day will be the same and then you wind up somewhere new. It’s a new friend, a new boyfriend or girlfriend, maybe a breakup. Maybe at the same time, each moment we experience has another thousand moments underneath that make it looks different. Make a new friend, what’s the worst that could happen?

My day, my experience was meeting someone new that makes my days better.

@TheSamMcLeod

I don’t know why you wonder why?

Isn’t being all about yourself, the surest way that you’ll end up being all by yourself?

Her ego could stretch the shit out of the universe. The problem was with it though that it appeared to have no end. One day she asked him to admit that the majority of things in his life were about her. They weren’t, he told her that and she didn’t like it. They were doomed from the beginning, although he didn’t know it at the time. That person that makes you laugh when no one else in the world can. You need to find them, don’t you? He thought it was her but it wasn’t. He realised that he needed to fall in love with his own heart because she wasn’t opening up her heart to him.

He thought that maybe he just needed to relax, trust her and that everything would be okay. He was no Robin Hood though, he was so wide of the mark.

When we were kids, we used to trust everything that we were told. Somewhere down the line, we stopped. We questioned things. He finally questioned whether or not she was a good idea and concluded that she wasn’t.

The brain. Who knows why it believes what it believes? Neurons and synapses? Maybe it’s your heart that directly impacts what your brain thinks. 99% of the time, he wanted to believe her and the things that she said but he knew that they weren’t all true. That other 1%? It was full of hope. Idiot.

She didn’t want to know how he felt, yet, she wanted him to know everything that she felt. Selfish, right? She was mesmerising and heartbreaking all at the same time. She thought that she was being interesting to him, in every minute of every day, when in reality, she was only being interesting to herself.

They both ended up where they are. Part of him still thinks that he didn’t make a mistake about her when they met, about who she was, about who she is. He saw the heartbreak coming though but it took him a while to get out of the way.

She’s not all bad, she has a fire that burns bright. There is a heart beating behind her craziness, it’s in there somewhere. She is almost perfect. Almost. No matter how much you try to contain a fire though, won’t it always burn the way that it wants to?

He now can’t understand what hurts more, missing her, or pretending not to. He can’t tell her though, that would only stoke her ego.

She was great in parts but she wasn’t the person that he could shape his life around. He couldn’t take the chance in the end. He never ever took her for granted though, it was nigh on impossible to do so. His own pride wouldn’t allow it, call it male stubbornness. Yet, there they were, imploding right in front of each other. Evel Knievel couldn’t jump the gap between the two of them now. It’s not your job to try and change someone though, is it? Even if you could, you can’t shape someone that has no shape.

It’s alright though, isn’t it? It’s certainly okay to her because it’s about her ego. Most of the time, perhaps all of the time, it’s got to be about her. Does she even know that’s why she’s there where she is and he’s not? He would have been there though. In a fucking heartbeat. Guess what fucked it? How do you even manage to give yourself permission to think that you’re better than everyone else?

Everything became a competition and only one of them could win. It wasn’t him, he failed quite spectacularly but he’s okay about it now. Or at least he thinks he is.

Having gone through the relationship with her, it changed his outlook. He’s more aware of how he treats other people now. He has his own ego but it’s not like the world owes him anything, not like how she is. We all make assumptions, we all have biases, we all have our own ego. It’s just the levels that are different, isn’t it?

She might have been the love of his life but now neither of them will ever know. She was the one when he was no one. Now, she’s nothing. It doesn’t even bother her. Her fucking ego.

He thought that he was clever enough to make whatever decisions he wanted to make but she filled him full of doubt at the end. It turns out that meeting her and sharing the things they did has made him better though. Even although she was bad for him, she made him better for whoever comes along next.

He learned not to allow her ego and insecurities to stop him growing, to stop him doing the things that he wanted so she clearly isn’t all bad. If you can meet someone and they make you better, then it’s a positive experience, I guess.

The thing is though, when you have a love affair with yourself, you still sleep alone at night.

And you wonder why, no one’s by your side?

@TheSamMcLeod

Everything is blurry.

We have hands that barely ever touched. We have lips that almost never met. We never really had a chance, did we?

We are absolutely failing.

Lots of things can be fixed. Sometimes though, a relationship between two people can’t be fixed, because it shouldn’t be. If neither of you are making the effort, then the penny begins to drop. Arguments happen again and again. Silences become more frequent. Whisper screaming at each other. That’s when you know it’s over. As soon as you start thinking about the beginning of the end, it’s the end. It’s time for you to break away from the person that’s breaking you. A lot of people will break your heart during your life, but if you look at it positively, only one will be the worst. You can love someone to the point where no one understands. It doesn’t matter though if no one gets it, as long as you get it. When you find something like that, you don’t want to let it go. Sometimes though you have to.

Breaking up is a natural thing when you’re trying to work out what it is that you want in your life. If you’re with someone who isn’t aligned with your thinking, did you even have a chance from the start? Feelings have that way of shaking us awake and helping us see what we’re willing to settle for, against what it is that we really want. Turns out that not being together any more might be a good thing. For both people.

Moving on is easier than staying moved on though, isn’t it?

It’s not the actual breaking up that prevents you from getting back together again, even if that’s what you both want. It’s because little pieces of you both get lost. The whole shape of your relationship, the whole dynamic has changed. Too little, too late. The chemistry wasn’t in doubt but the timing was everything. Sigh.

Whilst a lot of it was good, we ruined each other for a while by being together and we partly destroyed each other’s dreams. It wasn’t intentional, no hurt was meant, it just happened.

Three words said. Eight letters, five vowels and three consonants. I love you. It was the start of something beautiful but it was also the start of a slippery slope. Much later, the words changed. Two words, seven letters, three vowels and four consonants. It’s over. Twenty six letters in the alphabet, and now you’ll always be the 24th.

If you have to wonder if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It shouldn’t be that complicated, should it? You shouldn’t have to waste time waiting and wondering. Why spend your incredibly precious hours, dreaming or thinking of someone that doesn’t want to be with you? They can’t be that amazing, certainly not if they’re willing to play games with your heart.

The thing with breaking up is that person isn’t there any more, but the memories have a way of staying around.

Don’t listen to songs that you used to listen to together, at least not straight away. Go to bed for as long as you can or want, cry until the tears stop. Delete their number immediately. Book a few days away somewhere. Steer clear of photos of you both, how can that end well? Forgive yourself for being foolish for putting your trust in someone that didn’t reciprocate it. Continue to breathe, continue to smile.

Sometimes, something will happen and the memories will come flooding back. A song will appear on shuffle or a film might pop up on your television, and you’ll wonder what they’re up to. You have no way of knowing but you think what you think at the time. You could always email, text or pick up the phone but then they’ll know that you’re thinking of him or her. Not a good idea, right?

You never want them to know you’re thinking of them, so as tough as it might be, you stop yourself. Before long, the memories start to fade, don’t they? A day will come when you realise that you can’t quite remember how they smelled or the exact colour of their eyes. Some people will tell you that a day will come when you just forget that person altogether, but that’s bullshit, isn’t it? You may well replace old memories with new ones, and move on with your life but can you ever really forget?

If they get in touch after a while to tell you that they’ve missed you though, isn’t the perfect response to tell them that you missed yourself too?

Things will be okay. Turbulent, then calm.

@TheSamMcLeod

Everybody dies but not everybody lives.

Decisions, decisions. Buy ice cream or not? Pretty easy. Have a beer tonight or not? Again, not too difficult to choose. How about moving across the world to be with someone? How about deciding to marry someone? How about deciding to have children with someone? Some decisions are more important than others, aren’t they?

Isn’t the rule that whatever seems to be a massive and potentially life-changing decision, the less it seems like a decision at all? Perhaps the worst part of it is that other people can make life-changing decisions for you. Just life, I guess.

Is it easier if you ask yourself the question? If you’re going to though, you need to trust that you’ll be able do something with the answers, don’t you?

Maybe someone broke up with you, maybe you were the one who ended it. Still tough either way. Is it true that sometimes we need to be absolutely heartbroken by something, before we finally understand how bad it was for us? How about how good things might become?

Sometimes, something horrible in your life can occur in a split second that changes your life forever. You didn’t see it coming, how were you possibly to know?

The thing is that no matter how much planning you do, one tiny mis-step, one moment of a lack of concentration can end it all in an instant. Life, right?

You can plod through your life with nothing changing from one day, one week, one month, to the next. It doesn’t really matter how much you ask for something to shake you up, don’t you need to take control of it yourself?

Your world has changed. No one else might know anything about it but all of a sudden, your next heartbeat will be different to the last one. Deep breaths.

So what do you do now? You want things to be real, don’t you? Not for them just to be an idea that you have. How about a plan? How about deciding to do everything that you’ve ever wanted to do? A bucket list?

Bucket lists are supposed to be about doing things you’ve always dreamt about, not about making the wrong things in your life right.

Everyone surely has a path to follow that’s important to each of us. It’ll be different for every single one of us, of course, but isn’t it important to find that one reason to live and to appreciate the life that you have? It could be anything. What would be on your list?

Imagine going through the whole of your lifetime without laughter. How about laughing every day? Simple wishes.

It’s cheesy but don’t you need to seize the day before the sun sets every night? You’ll need to take a deep breath and almost take a blind leap of faith. Scary as shit. Let go of what is worthless, invest your time in the things that you want to do and the people that you care about. Everything important to you is precious, isn’t it? Holding them close because they won’t be here forever. The people as well as the moments.

Again, so what do you do? Dream a new dream, set another goal? Tomorrow, smile at a stranger and mean it. Fuck it, do it today.

If your dreams don’t scare you, are they big enough?

If things aren’t making sense or adding up in your life, isn’t it time to start subtracting? Is it true, is it helpful, is it inspiring, is it kind, is it necessary? If you answered yes to all five questions, then you know what to do. Everything that you’ve ever wanted. It might not always be easy but fuck, won’t it always be worth it? Make a list. I’ve just done it. Shouldn’t you be excited to try and give yourself everything that you’ve ever wanted in your life? Wise people will tell you that no one ever gets everything that they want, and whilst that’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it worth trying for all of those things?

Doing the things you love is like a good marriage. Once you get into it, it’s difficult to get out of and why the hell would you want to?

You let your success make your noise, don’t you? Maybe you will, maybe you won’t, worth a try at least. Maybe the little things you do in your life will become big things when you look back on them.

How about travel? Doesn’t it force you to trust strangers and to lose sight of everything that you thought you knew? You are constantly out of your comfort zone. You’re not au fait with everything in your life any more. All of your journeys will have secret destinations, won’t they?

Whether it’s travel related or not, you’ll have no idea where to leave from and and no clue about where you’ll end up going. Pretty cool.

Make a list of the things that you want to do and start ticking them off. No, you’re not lucky, you’re blessed.

@TheSamMcLeod

Maybe I know you’re the one?

Imagine letting go of someone that you love and that you’re still completely in love with. Everyone talks about it like it’s simple. Unfurl your fingers, one at a time, until your hand and your heart are completely open. What if your hand has been clenched for over a thousand days though? The heart isn’t faring much better. It still aches every day. It’s easier said than done, but is time to open it and see what happens with someone new? Chances are that it could be a fucking car crash. Only one way to find out though, I guess.

I chose her and she chose me. Would l continue to choose her, over and over and over, forever more? Without a second of thinking about it, without doubt, in a fucking heartbeat. I’d keep choosing her. It’s not my choice any more though.

Things will be missed, of course they will.

The way that she would always take one of my eyelashes that had fallen out, blow it away and make a wish. I hope all of her dreams came/come true.

The way that she invents words of her own.

The way that her left foot goes crazy when she’s mad. She knows that I know she does it and it makes her smile, although she’d never admit it.

Crying in front of her for the first time and being told that it was okay.

She never needed to ask to be the little spoon, it was mutually understood.

The way that she claps her hands at the tiniest little thing is fucking adorable. I should have told her that.

The way that she says yes, and the way that she says no.

How she giggles. She should be playing to Madison Square Garden, purely with that laugh. She’d sell the place out.

She can tell me to fuck off and it’s one of the cutest things ever.

Have you ever had a hug from someone so good that it feels like they think that it might be the last time that they ever hold you? She has it nailed.

When you’re singing in the shower and she tells you how much she loves it because it’s like you’re on stage at Wembley Stadium.

When she tucks her hair behind her ear and she doesn’t even notice that you notice. Heart melting stuff every time.

When she places her hands on her hips and grins. Frightening. She could ask me to do pretty much anything and I would.

She can be grumpy, but you drop an eyebrow in her direction and she smiles. All is right in the world once more.

The way that she turns her head, smiles, bites her lip and looks in my eyes. I’d crawl across broken glass for that one more time.

You’re lucky if you meet that rare man or woman that you have come across in your life for who you believe that the extra effort is worthwhile. Her? Oh, yes.

You can meet someone who’s just right for you, Maybe, just maybe though, they’re not meant for you. So you break up, you lose them, you lose some or all of your feelings, chances are that you might never feel the same again. You should stop questioning why though, shouldn’t you? Suck it up, just accept it and move on? Good luck.

Do you ever fall out of love with somebody? Perhaps you just let go and move on, although there is an incredible difference between letting go and giving up. Am I finally letting go? Am I finally giving up? Sometimes all you can do is shrug. If you don’t know, how can anyone else know?

When you’re not with someone, is it likely that you’ll meet someone else? Maybe it’s the best thing to meet someone new. Maybe it’s the worst idea ever for you. Is it unfair on that new person if you want them to have similar qualities or traits than the person that’s just left you behind? Absofuckinglutely, no one new needs that pressure.

Sometimes, a simple hello can turn into a beautiful, potentially life changing moment. You need to open yourself up to it first though, right? Are you ready, will you ever know? If it’s meant to be, you’ll know. Your heart will beat a lot faster when that message hits your phone or when you hear the sound of their voice.

What if that new person is the song that you can’t get out of your head, no matter how hard you try? Is that better or worse than the one person in your life that you miss?

Breathe. Let go. Once again, good luck.

If you didn’t love them, this never could have happened. Accepting that love and everything that follows is part of letting it go.

When I say I’m going to forget you, I know, and you know that it’s impossible to forget someone I once knew. Someone that I once loved. Do I still? Head and heart fighting again probably. Do I need a girl like you? Is that even possible? I guess we’ll find out.